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Cruel Innocence
-
arrancar_velonica
- Baka Otaku
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Aug 18, 2009 1:35pm
- Gender: Female
Cruel Innocence
Cruel Innonence
Ur beautiful is haunt me as they
traced my footsteps in2 the dark.
As if mockingly u drew ur kisses
w/out a whisper in the quiet nite.
U trail ur sweet fragrance
hovering in front of me
as if teasing me w/out ur touch.
Leading me astray
ur soft voice calls out
a loving melody, a silent lullaby.
Ur soothing hands as if reaching
ur gentle lips as if seeking
our hesitant fingers as if embracing
a sweet & bitter dream.
i can b the evil 2 ur goodness,
or the lite 2 ur darkness.
or the lite 2 ur darkness.
Re: Cruel Innocence
I don't understand several lines.
bad grammar makes ppl stop caring srsly
Other than that, I don't hate it. It's actually kinda descriptive. Just... work on the phrasing and grammar. *end critique*
bad grammar makes ppl stop caring srsly
Other than that, I don't hate it. It's actually kinda descriptive. Just... work on the phrasing and grammar. *end critique*
"Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
"If you want to view paradise simply look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it. You want to change the world? There's nothing to it."
"If you want to view paradise simply look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it. You want to change the world? There's nothing to it."
Re: Cruel Innocence
Her other one wasnt bad grammar wise.
But yeah, I agree with Tyche.
Erm.. Filitz.
But yeah, I agree with Tyche.
Erm.. Filitz.
Decisions to decisions are made and not bought, but I thought this wouldn't hurt a lot. I guess not.