How to react to criticism correctly? Posted Oct 9, 2021
"I don’t care what critics write.
I know that deep down they love my work,
but they are afraid to admit it."
The beauty of living among people is fraught with the fact that we are constantly judged. Both the homeless man and Elizabeth II are regularly criticized. On the one hand, it is worth rejoicing at such signs of attention — the more successful a person becomes, the more he gets not only admirers and friends, but also critics. But criticism has a downside — sometimes it plunges into despair, makes you doubt your abilities, and, in general, the meaning of existence itself. However, critics can be a useful tool that helps you grow and upgrade your skills. As a student, I often preferred to pay someone to write my essay, so I could use it as a sample for my future assignments.
Perhaps even the Buddha would have been annoyed by nagging. However, stories about the founder of Buddhism convince us of his condescending attitude even to ardent detractors.
The average person is unlikely to have reached nirvana. But for the adequate perception of criticism, you do not need to sit in the lotus position for 20 years, contemplating emptiness. It is enough to change your attitude and understand the types of evaluation from the outside.
Types of criticism
The first reaction to criticism can be a strong emotional outburst - from mild indignation to sobbing into the pillow and challenging the insolent to an intellectual duel. If you plan to get a reputation as a brawler or a hysterical woman, you need to instantly turn into an angry fury and throw out streams of sulfur and fire-breathing lava on your opponent.
We hope, however, that you have other priorities and ideals, and you decide to save the scoundrel's life. Having taken control of the volcano of passions, it is necessary to determine the type of criticism.
So, take ten deep breaths... criticism may be:
- constructive and useful;
- destructive and mostly empty;
- highly related to the personal attitude of the opponent;
- built according to the feedback method.
I want to start with something positive, so let's consider constructive criticism.
Constructive criticism
Characteristics of constructive criticism:
- the presence of clear and precise evaluation criteria;
- objectivity;
- examples and reasonableness;
- taking into account details and nuances;
- respectful attitude to the interlocutor.
The positive side of such criticism is that it helps you become a better person. If a competent person pointed out some drawbacks in your magnum opus, expressed his point of view, and argued it, then this will only shake the dust off the student's brain exhausted by routine.
After constructive criticism, a person does not feel lost and clueless, he clearly understands what exactly the opponent wanted to say and what details he paid attention to. Important: to be a constructive critic, you need to be competent in a specific area. For example, in an essay, only a person who is well versed in this genre can point out typical mistakes.
Destructive criticism
"Some people were born just to find faults of others:
they only see Achilles' heel."
If constructive criticism brings clarity, then destructive, on the contrary, allows the poor creator to feel like an unrecognized genius or complete incompetent. It all depends on the self-esteem of the critique, the pressure of the criticizing side, and the presence /absence of a support group for both opponents.
Such criticism is:
- vague and mysterious;
- often irrelevant;
- undocumented;
- built on stereotypes and sweeping judgments;
- sometimes rude and tactless.
Destructive criticism is possible at work when a customer criticizes you. It is from the customers' side that you can hear a lot of interesting things. After all, they are often not professionals in what they judge.
Ask your opponent to argue the position. The critic says that he is guided only by his subtle intuition in the assessment, and at the same time he is not an expert in his field? Congratulations! You were given a cheap review because this kind of criticism is the most throwaway product. The only correct reaction to such attacks is to ignore them. If desired, you can reasonably put the critic in his place. There is nothing to be worried about here.
Quibbles
If you have bad karma, then constructive critics will bypass your work. Fate will not give you a chance to get valuable recommendations from them. Destructive critics in this scenario will get second roles. Personal attacks have nothing to do with what you are doing. They just want to bring you to a madhouse with flashing lights.
If your future (studies, career, reputation) does not depend on the attacks of an evil troll, then it is easy to cope with it. There is a magic word "ignore" that immediately restores harmony in your personal space. In more serious cases, it makes sense to look for alternative ways of protection. When the boss is a tyrant, it's easier to find another job.
Feedback
A classic example of feedback is working with a supervisor on a course or diploma project or comments from a direct supervisor. You do the work (write a term paper), show it to your boss or supervisor, he evaluates and makes recommendations for improvement.
Feedback does not have negative connotations that are attributed to it unknowingly. It is rather positive and helps to develop. There should be more such "criticism".
Bonus Tip
To improve memory, it is recommended to train on simulators such as a treadmill, ellipsoid, stepper. In addition, suitable: aerobics; swimming; cycling; jogging; skiing; ice skating; walking; dancing. Attention! You should not start training when you begin to notice that you forget elementary things. It is better to prevent memory deterioration before such a problem begins to bother you. If it is not possible to go to the gym, simple exercises that can be performed at home will help. Constant work on yourself at any age can give excellent results.
