should best friends date?

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therealhokagequeen
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should best friends date?

Post by therealhokagequeen »

okay now i have this friend and he's really cool (and cute). we're really close and he makes me laugh all the time doing the craziest things. recently though his cousin told me that he liked me more than a friend. i was shocked and kinda flattered. at one point and time i liked him in the same way too. still do.sorta.

so we started to date. first we had some difficulties (i'm a black girl and he's white; most of the school's pop. is black; too used to being friends; etc.) but we got over it and started to have fun.we had an awkward kiss (i didn't kiss him back even though i wanted to.) which led to more awkward moments. but still it was great.

then one day i came to school and it was very early. he looked very sad and kinda stressed and i asked what was wrong. he said it was nothing until he finally said "we should be friends again." first i was fine with it. i told him okay and went back to talking to his cousin (yeah kinda cold). he kept saying he felt terrible and hated himself. i told him not to worry about it. but when we went our seperate ways and i was alone, i started to cry.

i don't know why because i wasn't sad in the least or angry. it just came outta no where. i felt sad all day but for no reason. i didn't go to school the next day and he didn't go to school the rest of the week.

i don't think we can be friends again without some problems. i truly and deeply believe that if you have a best friend you should keep it like that so you don't go through all that. this could've been a lot worse (i am known for my huge temper).

so what do you think?
(ps i know this is long.sorry.)
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Re: should best friends date?

Post by Boxcar Bob »

therealhokagequeen wrote:(ps i know this is long.sorry.)
Oh, trust me. You will be.
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Athos
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Re: should best friends date?

Post by Athos »

It depends on you and your friend (how you react and manage certain things such as your emotions), and what goes on in the relationship (you know. the drama). But when you go into a relationship, things won't be the same, however, if when things don't work out, that doesn't mean you need to go at each others throat.

Just keep going at it (if you "love" him anyway, and vice-versa) then keep going until something happens. Keep in mind--relationships aren't built overnight, but can be destroyed over one.
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Re: should best friends date?

Post by Dretlin »

In your situation I believe you can still be friends. As it seems your "relationship" lasted about 24 hours.

Any longer than that I would most likely tell you not to get your hopes up. :D

I have been through the naivety of thinking you can still be friends after that and most of the time, it simply does not work.
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Re: should best friends date?

Post by Tyche »

I agree with Athos, but I also think maturity and the length of the friendship play a factor.

In my opinion, if you're fifteen, you're probably not going to have a very long relationship with anyone, friend or not. It's the age of discovering and defining who you are. I actually think you and your friend being in this situation is more helpful to the two of you than the alternative; basically hating yourselves and eachother but still pulling through because you "love" eachother.

As for right now, give him space, and find something else to occupy yourself with. If you're truely friends, you'll both be back to being so (no matter how long it takes). And, who knows? Maybe in a few years you'll end up with him again.

I am curious though, how long did you go out and how long hve the two of you been upset?
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therealhokagequeen
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Re: should best friends date?

Post by therealhokagequeen »

we dated for probably about a few months.
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Re: should best friends date?

Post by SASSZAIN »

Brian May wrote:
therealhokagequeen wrote:(ps i know this is long.sorry.)
Oh, trust me. You will be.
I literally loled at that. Well placed humor in a bad sitch. Must be bedes new account?


AS pertaining to the topic, Best friends becoming more is, in my opinion, better than total strangers becoming more than friends. Thinking about it, When you get married, It is to your best friend in the whole world, or at least should be. Since you'll be around that person a whole lot..
So yeah, being best friends first is good.

Now, pertaining to your particular sitch, I had a large paragraph here that would have been interesting to see your take. However, I've made a promise to Aoi to be nicer xD so I'll remake it.

From what it sounds like, he wanted to become more than friends, but you really didn't. You decided to give it a try, thinking that things could always go back to normal. You where wrong. This an accurate assessment?
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Re: should best friends date?

Post by Tyche »

I didn't think of that Sass. O.o I forgot men have feelings. :mrgreen:
Despair... so delicious...
Fear... so exhilarating...


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Re: should best friends date?

Post by Taylor_Chan »

Truthfully, I think best friends should date because they know so much about each other.
But it would be pretty weird because they've been your friend for so long.
I would know. I've done it before....
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Re: should best friends date?

Post by Nyx »

It just makes thing awkward. *points at Erk as proof*
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Re: should best friends date?

Post by Pennyroyal Tea »

Any strong friendship can survive anything. The progression from a friendship to a relationship is often a sloppy one, as it requires numerous adjustments, and it takes awhile to get over the awkwardness. But after that period it definitely can work.

You both gave up too easily.


Also, don't listen to Nyx. I'm much smarter than her.
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Re: should best friends date?

Post by Nyx »

The Joker wrote: Any strong friendship can survive anything. The progression from a friendship to a relationship is often a sloppy one, as it requires numerous adjustments, and it takes awhile to get over the awkwardness. But after that period it definitely can work.

You both gave up too easily.


Also, don't listen to Nyx. I'm much smarter than her.

:evil: I take back all my nice thoughts from earlier.

:P
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Re: should best friends date?

Post by Yuki~ »

I think it's be so weird if I started dating my best friend....
I mean, he's like a brother to me.... o_o
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Re: should best friends date?

Post by Pennyroyal Tea »

Yuki wrote:I think it's be so weird if I started dating my best friend....
I mean, he's like a brother to me.... o_o
Incest is win yes?
Nyx wrote:
The Joker wrote: Any strong friendship can survive anything. The progression from a friendship to a relationship is often a sloppy one, as it requires numerous adjustments, and it takes awhile to get over the awkwardness. But after that period it definitely can work.

You both gave up too easily.


Also, don't listen to Nyx. I'm much smarter than her.

:evil: I take back all my nice thoughts from earlier.

:P
No you don't.
Yeah, you were right about me, but can I get myself out from underneath this guilt that will crush me? in the choir, I saw our sad Messiah he was bored and tired of my laments
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Re: should best friends date?

Post by Sasami Jurai »

:-"
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Re: should best friends date?

Post by SASSZAIN »

xD Kary xD
Filitz wrote:I didn't think of that Sass. O.o I forgot men have feelings. :mrgreen:
Yes, Yes they do. Generally. However in some cases (most) They dont actualy have feelings as much as raging hormones.. But I beleive in this case the male actualy has/had feelings.
The Joker wrote:
Yuki wrote:I think it's be so weird if I started dating my best friend....
I mean, he's like a brother to me.... o_o
Incest is win yes?
Incest is the best, put your sister to the test.
Or in this case
Incest is the best, put your brother to the test.

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