Crud. I need some Advice, guys.

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Grell
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Crud. I need some Advice, guys.

Post by Grell »

Kay, so I asked this guy I know out on a date for valentine's day. First off, I didn't want a commitment with it, I wanted a date. That's it. Just a selfish I-Don't-Want-To-Be-Alone-On-Valentine's sorta date. Second, I didn't actually expect him to say yes. He did.

So, it ends up we go out on a date, and within the week, its "Facebook Official" that we're "dating", and we've made plans for prom.

My world is starting to fall down around me at this point. I did not want a boyfriend! He's my best friend, and all I can feel is awkward and nervous about this whole thing! For the past month, I've been dreading every time I come into contact with him.

Too boot, I have a female roommate. I like her. She likes me. We have a pretty good thing going except for the fact that my best male friend likes me and wants a serious relationship.

What's even worse is that I told him early on that I have feelings for her and that she'd always be my "girlfriend" and he just accepted it like it was normal. He's so sweet and understanding that its making me feel guilty. Like I just want to bash my head in to be over with it.

I want to break up with him, but I don't want to hurt him. I mean, yeah, the longer I wait, the worse it'll be, but how do I tell him?

HELP.
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SASSZAIN
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Re: Crud. I need some Advice, guys.

Post by SASSZAIN »

Honestly, just tell him. He's going to get hurt no matter what, if he really is as into you as he seems. Great thing is, if hes as good of a friend as you suggest, he should stay your friend afterwords. Things could be awkward for a little while, but you'll still be friends.

Or you could keep living in a nightmare and marry the dude, then bear his children, and be trapped in the nightmare for all time.

Or, maybe, just maybe, I dunno.. I was gonna try for something that was positive about staying with him, but i've got nothing. Seems like he had strong feelings for you and hid them, then misunderstood your V-day date.

Honesty is the best way. If he isn't your friend afterwords, he wasn't really your friend before.
"You dont have to be alive to make yourself relevant.And you dont have to be a good person to be a hero.You just have to know who you are and stay true to that.So Im going to keep fighting for people the only way I ever knew how"-Vriska Serket

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Re: Crud. I need some Advice, guys.

Post by Tyche »

Sass gave the advice I would give. >.>Though, I would never suggest you to marry a person you had no romantic feelings for, even in a sarcastic way.
Despair... so delicious...
Fear... so exhilarating...


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Re: Crud. I need some Advice, guys.

Post by SASSZAIN »

I'm more evil than you are, thats all :)
"You dont have to be alive to make yourself relevant.And you dont have to be a good person to be a hero.You just have to know who you are and stay true to that.So Im going to keep fighting for people the only way I ever knew how"-Vriska Serket

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Re: Crud. I need some Advice, guys.

Post by Dretlin »

Grell wrote:I want to break up with him, but I don't want to hurt him.
Too bad, as it most likely will hurt him.

It always does, you can not evade that. Get some Dutch courage, squeeze a stress ball and go for it. This does not make you an unreasonable person, as its the same with everyone. So your very much not alone in this decision.

Unlike Zain, I feel being friends afterwards - does not work. However, if this has been going for a short a time as you say, then maybe you can. I would not be surprised of either outcome.

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Re: Crud. I need some Advice, guys.

Post by Grell »

Well, we dated for a while freshman year, then I broke up with him because I wasn't feeling it anymore then either. And he told me this time that even though I broke up with him, he's still liked me for the past three years. >.< Which is part of the reason I feel so guilty about wanting to break up.
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Re: Crud. I need some Advice, guys.

Post by Gaming Goddess »

You made a mistake for sure here. But, I'm guilty of putting myself in a similar situation too, not so long ago.
You have to break up with him, use the word 'friendship' a lot
"You're a really good friend" and "I don't want to lose your friendship."

Talk about how you're not in a place personally for a relationship, etc etc. Sucks, but you have to do it.
An ordinary girl, an ordinary waist; but ordinary's just not good enough today.
Who needs imagination when you have a television?
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Re: Crud. I need some Advice, guys.

Post by Athos »

Give me $25 and I'll do it for you with extra legal verbiage.
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Re: Crud. I need some Advice, guys.

Post by Grell »

xD I don't have 25$ dollars, but if I did, I think that would be one of the most awesome things ever, Athos.

>.< This is probably the worst situation I've ever gotten myself in.
Please, I am but a smol potate.

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Re: Crud. I need some Advice, guys.

Post by SASSZAIN »

I see that as a good thing.
"You dont have to be alive to make yourself relevant.And you dont have to be a good person to be a hero.You just have to know who you are and stay true to that.So Im going to keep fighting for people the only way I ever knew how"-Vriska Serket

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Re: Crud. I need some Advice, guys.

Post by Athos »

See, this is kinda why when I date, I'll draft something like this:


THIS AGREEMENT is entered into by and between [insert my name here] and [gal's name here].
In consideration of the mutual promises made in this Agreement
and other valuable consideration, the receipt and sufficiency of which is acknowledged, the parties agree as follows:
to go out to dinner, not exceeding twice per week at a reasonable restaurant voluntarily
[insert my name here] to pay for the consumed goods and services
[insert other crap to be sorted out later]

This Agreement shall be governed by the laws of Califaunia.

If any part of this Agreement is adjudged invalid, illegal, or unenforceable, the remaining parts shall not be affected and shall remain in full force and effect This Agreement shall be binding upon the undersigned parties. This instrument, including any attached exhibits and addenda, constitutes the entire Agreement of the parties. No
representations or promises have been made except those that are set out in this Agreement. This Agreement may not be modified except in writing signed by all the parties.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF the parties have signed this Agreement under seal on [day, month, date, year]

[signatures]

Then I'll attach other things like a covenant just to be safe.
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Re: Crud. I need some Advice, guys.

Post by Gaming Goddess »

Athos is a pretty classy dude. He writes up legal documents for dates, and doesn't afraid to pay for meals.
An ordinary girl, an ordinary waist; but ordinary's just not good enough today.
Who needs imagination when you have a television?
Half of the Dream Team. Sup Mike? :wink: Part of the Sexy Trio =P~
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Re: Crud. I need some Advice, guys.

Post by SASSZAIN »

[email protected] grammar.

and, hey, Athos, you should get me a copy of those doccuments. Just to be on the safe side.
"You dont have to be alive to make yourself relevant.And you dont have to be a good person to be a hero.You just have to know who you are and stay true to that.So Im going to keep fighting for people the only way I ever knew how"-Vriska Serket

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Re: Crud. I need some Advice, guys.

Post by Gaming Goddess »

SASSZAIN wrote:[email protected] grammar.
You've never see the Halo meme used?
An ordinary girl, an ordinary waist; but ordinary's just not good enough today.
Who needs imagination when you have a television?
Half of the Dream Team. Sup Mike? :wink: Part of the Sexy Trio =P~
BIKI! =3

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Athos
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Re: Crud. I need some Advice, guys.

Post by Athos »

SASSZAIN wrote:[email protected] grammar.

and, hey, Athos, you should get me a copy of those doccuments. Just to be on the safe side.
xD The beauty of PDFs.


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Re: Crud. I need some Advice, guys.

Post by SASSZAIN »

no... i havent...

some reason my PC wont open pdfs.. I think i new new adobe reader
"You dont have to be alive to make yourself relevant.And you dont have to be a good person to be a hero.You just have to know who you are and stay true to that.So Im going to keep fighting for people the only way I ever knew how"-Vriska Serket

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