Poem #1: We, the Cutters

[ShaiGirl]

We don't do it because others do...
it's not some trendy fad that we feel we must follow...
in fact, it's one of the reasons many consider and reconsider,
if they give it that much thought.
It seems almost taboo and stupid...
But after much thought,
we slice open ourselves
for a whole other reason.

It relieves the pain we feel sometimes.
Transferring one's emotions into a physical state
lightens the load that burdens our hearts.

Emotions, we do not understand.
Pain, that we know about-
that we can handle.
If we keep our emotions as they are,
then we are lost in a sea of bitterness and confusion.
We don't know what to do with these Overwhelming Feelings of
Distraught,
Anger,
Depression.
What else are we supposed to do?


We can't go to people;
they try to make it logical,
try to make us "better",
prescribe drugs for problems where they give no right cause.

We don't want that!
We want to know how to replace the negativity with positives!
That is what we have done for ourselves,
but only to a minor degree,
only offering temporary relief.
Most of us don't enjoy shriveling in the weaknesses of our hearts and minds.
We'd much prefer thriving in the glory of physical mutilation!
It's a rush that we can control;
it is a half-pleasure!!

We cut and destroy our bodies
so that our thoughts will stop cutting and destroying our inner selves,
so much more fragile than our exterior.

We do not wish to be weak.