Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes

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Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes

Post by Dretlin »

Got a joke that is just too touchy for the rest of the forum? Think you can also be an ADULT about it?

Then make me laugh. 8)
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Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes

Post by Nyx »

How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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Two if they're small enough.
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Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes

Post by Dretlin »

RetardedDriver|Nyx wrote: How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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Two if they're small enough.
HA! 8)
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Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes

Post by Lestat69_99 »

A woman with really hairy underarms boards a crowded bus. Unable to find a seat, she settles for hanging onto one of the poles. A drunk man next to her stares at her for three minutes, then tells her, "I love a woman that does aerobics." The woman replies angrily, "I don't DO aerobics!" The drunk man then looks at the woman and says, "Then how did you get your leg up so high?"
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Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes

Post by animaniac »

^ ewwwwww!!!!!! but that was pretty funny, i didn't get it at first though lol

There are four men in a jacuzzi and all of a sudden a condom floats up, they all look at each other and one of them asks, "who farted?"
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Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes

Post by Pennyroyal Tea »

animaniac wrote:^ ewwwwww!!!!!! but that was pretty funny, i didn't get it at first though lol

There are four men in a jacuzzi and all of a sudden a condom floats up, they all look at each other and one of them asks, "who farted?"
Not that lame joke again. Stealing from your sister?
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Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes

Post by Dretlin »

If a tree falls in the woods and it lands on a baby, is it still hilarious? 8)
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Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes

Post by Lestat69_99 »

This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster. The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster, named Randy; he'll service every chicken you've got. No problem."

Well , Randy the rooster is a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So , he buys Randy. The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard, giving the rooster a pep talk, " Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here and you cost me a lot of money and I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said with a chuckle.

Randy seemed to understand, so the farmer points towards the hen house and Randy took off like a shot ~WHAM~ He nails every hen on there THREE or FOUR times and the farmer is just shocked. Randy runs out of the hen house and sees a flock of geese down by the lake ~WHAM~ He gets all the geese. Randy's up in the pigpen. He's in with the cows. Randy is jumping on every animal the farmer owns.

The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the day. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Randy dead as a doorknob in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.

The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful animal , shakes his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself." Randy opens one eye, nods towards the sky and say's, "Shhh. They're getting closer...."
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Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes

Post by animaniac »

Jim Morrison wrote:
animaniac wrote:^ ewwwwww!!!!!! but that was pretty funny, i didn't get it at first though lol

There are four men in a jacuzzi and all of a sudden a condom floats up, they all look at each other and one of them asks, "who farted?"
Not that lame joke again. Stealing from your sister?
WHHHHAT! I was the one who told you that first you loser!! =; you're the lame joke.... :o oh yes I did
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Fock that nun

Post by Cold Revolver »

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."

The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "

The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"




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Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes

Post by Pennyroyal Tea »

I think this joke would be better suited here. Funny as hell if you ask me :D
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Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes

Post by Cold Revolver »

Jim Morrison wrote: I think this joke would be better suited here. Funny as hell if you ask me :D

Forgot about this thread, my bad. Thanks. :)
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Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes

Post by Katsuyo »

Cold Revolver wrote:
Jim Morrison wrote: I think this joke would be better suited here. Funny as hell if you ask me :D

Forgot about this thread, my bad. Thanks. :)
Thats funny man aWESOME
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Re: Fock that nun

Post by Nyx »

Cold Revolver wrote:A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."

The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "

The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"




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Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes

Post by Coin~operated Boy<3 »

miky mouse and minnie mouse decide to get a divorce.

while at the court house the judge says, "so i hear your a getting a divorce to to her insanity.

and mikey says
"i never said she was crazy, i said she was fu8king goofie. XD
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Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes

Post by Pennyroyal Tea »

*~Coin-Operated Boy~* wrote:miky mouse and minnie mouse decide to get a divorce.

while at the court house the judge says, "so i hear your a getting a divorce to to her insanity.

and mikey says
"i never said she was crazy, i said she was fu8king goofie. XD
Nice one :pirate:
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He said, "I died for you one time, but never again"
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