Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
Got a joke that is just too touchy for the rest of the forum? Think you can also be an ADULT about it?
Then make me laugh.
Then make me laugh.
-
- Absolute Otaku
- Posts: 1996
- Joined: Dec 21, 2006 2:16pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Searching for myself. BRB
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
.......
......
.....
....
...
Two if they're small enough.
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
.......
......
.....
....
...
Two if they're small enough.
AA Sibs: Coin-Boy, Casual, Biki, Tyche
AA Hubbies: EL, Kura, AOH I wuv my hubbies. All 3 of them. <3
AA X-mas Pressy: Cloud AA Luv: Cold
AA Child: Dogboy, Pervert. AA Grandchild: Master InuYasha
That'll do fangirl, that'll do.
AA Hubbies: EL, Kura, AOH I wuv my hubbies. All 3 of them. <3
AA X-mas Pressy: Cloud AA Luv: Cold
AA Child: Dogboy, Pervert. AA Grandchild: Master InuYasha
That'll do fangirl, that'll do.
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
HA!RetardedDriver|Nyx wrote: How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
.......
......
.....
....
...
Two if they're small enough.
- Lestat69_99
- Absolute Otaku
- Posts: 2296
- Joined: Aug 28, 2005 11:33pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: Nebraska
- Contact:
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
A woman with really hairy underarms boards a crowded bus. Unable to find a seat, she settles for hanging onto one of the poles. A drunk man next to her stares at her for three minutes, then tells her, "I love a woman that does aerobics." The woman replies angrily, "I don't DO aerobics!" The drunk man then looks at the woman and says, "Then how did you get your leg up so high?"
"Well, look who's back...Show him why we call it "SPLATTERHOUSE'."
Terror Mask
Terror Mask
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
^ ewwwwww!!!!!! but that was pretty funny, i didn't get it at first though lol
There are four men in a jacuzzi and all of a sudden a condom floats up, they all look at each other and one of them asks, "who farted?"
There are four men in a jacuzzi and all of a sudden a condom floats up, they all look at each other and one of them asks, "who farted?"
-AA Sibs: Rosemary-sama, saiko, rinslet, Fay D. flourite, Koyue, sakura-kiss, shio (my lovely), Brokenheart, lawliet, ashitaka, zippidy ^^, lenfa(filo sis 4 life)
-AA twin:Wolfgang
-AA biatch:Neo
-AA twin:Wolfgang
-AA biatch:Neo
-
- Moderator
- Posts: 2120
- Joined: Oct 21, 2005 9:51am
- Contact:
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
Not that lame joke again. Stealing from your sister?animaniac wrote:^ ewwwwww!!!!!! but that was pretty funny, i didn't get it at first though lol
There are four men in a jacuzzi and all of a sudden a condom floats up, they all look at each other and one of them asks, "who farted?"
Yeah, you were right about me, but can I get myself out from underneath this guilt that will crush me? in the choir, I saw our sad Messiah he was bored and tired of my laments
He said, "I died for you one time, but never again"
He said, "I died for you one time, but never again"
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
If a tree falls in the woods and it lands on a baby, is it still hilarious?
- Lestat69_99
- Absolute Otaku
- Posts: 2296
- Joined: Aug 28, 2005 11:33pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: Nebraska
- Contact:
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster. The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster, named Randy; he'll service every chicken you've got. No problem."
Well , Randy the rooster is a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So , he buys Randy. The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard, giving the rooster a pep talk, " Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here and you cost me a lot of money and I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said with a chuckle.
Randy seemed to understand, so the farmer points towards the hen house and Randy took off like a shot ~WHAM~ He nails every hen on there THREE or FOUR times and the farmer is just shocked. Randy runs out of the hen house and sees a flock of geese down by the lake ~WHAM~ He gets all the geese. Randy's up in the pigpen. He's in with the cows. Randy is jumping on every animal the farmer owns.
The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the day. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Randy dead as a doorknob in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.
The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful animal , shakes his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself." Randy opens one eye, nods towards the sky and say's, "Shhh. They're getting closer...."
Well , Randy the rooster is a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So , he buys Randy. The farmer takes Randy home and sets him down in the barnyard, giving the rooster a pep talk, " Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here and you cost me a lot of money and I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said with a chuckle.
Randy seemed to understand, so the farmer points towards the hen house and Randy took off like a shot ~WHAM~ He nails every hen on there THREE or FOUR times and the farmer is just shocked. Randy runs out of the hen house and sees a flock of geese down by the lake ~WHAM~ He gets all the geese. Randy's up in the pigpen. He's in with the cows. Randy is jumping on every animal the farmer owns.
The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the day. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Randy dead as a doorknob in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.
The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful animal , shakes his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself." Randy opens one eye, nods towards the sky and say's, "Shhh. They're getting closer...."
"Well, look who's back...Show him why we call it "SPLATTERHOUSE'."
Terror Mask
Terror Mask
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
WHHHHAT! I was the one who told you that first you loser!! you're the lame joke.... oh yes I didJim Morrison wrote:Not that lame joke again. Stealing from your sister?animaniac wrote:^ ewwwwww!!!!!! but that was pretty funny, i didn't get it at first though lol
There are four men in a jacuzzi and all of a sudden a condom floats up, they all look at each other and one of them asks, "who farted?"
-AA Sibs: Rosemary-sama, saiko, rinslet, Fay D. flourite, Koyue, sakura-kiss, shio (my lovely), Brokenheart, lawliet, ashitaka, zippidy ^^, lenfa(filo sis 4 life)
-AA twin:Wolfgang
-AA biatch:Neo
-AA twin:Wolfgang
-AA biatch:Neo
-
- Absolute Otaku
- Posts: 3369
- Joined: Jun 26, 2005 10:50pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: In your bathtub
- Contact:
Fock that nun
A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.
The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."
The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."
The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.
The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.
After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "
The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"
__friend of mine sent me this__
The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."
The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."
The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.
The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.
After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "
The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"
__friend of mine sent me this__
Can you find your name?
Amigos list: NickMistaColaJohnAmrayYMBedeMikeTycheAthosCloudTrishMatLust<33GioSerasErikBiki
KarinDretJessKoyue
I am not gay, I'm just colorful Betch! =-]
Amigos list: NickMistaColaJohnAmrayYMBedeMikeTycheAthosCloudTrishMatLust<33GioSerasErikBiki
KarinDretJessKoyue
I am not gay, I'm just colorful Betch! =-]
-
- Moderator
- Posts: 2120
- Joined: Oct 21, 2005 9:51am
- Contact:
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
I think this joke would be better suited here. Funny as hell if you ask me
Yeah, you were right about me, but can I get myself out from underneath this guilt that will crush me? in the choir, I saw our sad Messiah he was bored and tired of my laments
He said, "I died for you one time, but never again"
He said, "I died for you one time, but never again"
-
- Absolute Otaku
- Posts: 3369
- Joined: Jun 26, 2005 10:50pm
- Gender: Male
- Location: In your bathtub
- Contact:
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
Jim Morrison wrote: I think this joke would be better suited here. Funny as hell if you ask me
Forgot about this thread, my bad. Thanks.
Can you find your name?
Amigos list: NickMistaColaJohnAmrayYMBedeMikeTycheAthosCloudTrishMatLust<33GioSerasErikBiki
KarinDretJessKoyue
I am not gay, I'm just colorful Betch! =-]
Amigos list: NickMistaColaJohnAmrayYMBedeMikeTycheAthosCloudTrishMatLust<33GioSerasErikBiki
KarinDretJessKoyue
I am not gay, I'm just colorful Betch! =-]
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
Thats funny man aWESOMECold Revolver wrote:Jim Morrison wrote: I think this joke would be better suited here. Funny as hell if you ask me
Forgot about this thread, my bad. Thanks.
(*Bleach 101 ARMY*)-Marshal 元帥陸軍大将 Gensui Rikugun Taishō (*****)
PROUD TO BE A CANADIAN
Best Pal: Clamato
When the going gets tough, the tough get GIANT FIGHTING ROBOTS!!!
My japanese name is 飯野 Iino (rice plains) 徹平 Koike (penetrating peace)
PROUD TO BE A CANADIAN
Best Pal: Clamato
When the going gets tough, the tough get GIANT FIGHTING ROBOTS!!!
My japanese name is 飯野 Iino (rice plains) 徹平 Koike (penetrating peace)
-
- Absolute Otaku
- Posts: 1996
- Joined: Dec 21, 2006 2:16pm
- Gender: Female
- Location: Searching for myself. BRB
Re: Fock that nun
LMAO.Cold Revolver wrote:A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.
The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."
The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."
The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.
The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.
After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "
The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"
__friend of mine sent me this__
AA Sibs: Coin-Boy, Casual, Biki, Tyche
AA Hubbies: EL, Kura, AOH I wuv my hubbies. All 3 of them. <3
AA X-mas Pressy: Cloud AA Luv: Cold
AA Child: Dogboy, Pervert. AA Grandchild: Master InuYasha
That'll do fangirl, that'll do.
AA Hubbies: EL, Kura, AOH I wuv my hubbies. All 3 of them. <3
AA X-mas Pressy: Cloud AA Luv: Cold
AA Child: Dogboy, Pervert. AA Grandchild: Master InuYasha
That'll do fangirl, that'll do.
- Coin~operated Boy<3
- Absolute Otaku
- Posts: 1359
- Joined: Mar 15, 2006 3:46pm
- Gender: Male
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
miky mouse and minnie mouse decide to get a divorce.
while at the court house the judge says, "so i hear your a getting a divorce to to her insanity.
and mikey says
"i never said she was crazy, i said she was fu8king goofie. XD
while at the court house the judge says, "so i hear your a getting a divorce to to her insanity.
and mikey says
"i never said she was crazy, i said she was fu8king goofie. XD
Feel free to read my articles at http://hubpages.com/profile/ZackW.Van
Coments And rateings are very appreciated!
"Age is simply mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." ~ Mark Twain
Coments And rateings are very appreciated!
"Age is simply mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." ~ Mark Twain
-
- Moderator
- Posts: 2120
- Joined: Oct 21, 2005 9:51am
- Contact:
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
Nice one*~Coin-Operated Boy~* wrote:miky mouse and minnie mouse decide to get a divorce.
while at the court house the judge says, "so i hear your a getting a divorce to to her insanity.
and mikey says
"i never said she was crazy, i said she was fu8king goofie. XD
Yeah, you were right about me, but can I get myself out from underneath this guilt that will crush me? in the choir, I saw our sad Messiah he was bored and tired of my laments
He said, "I died for you one time, but never again"
He said, "I died for you one time, but never again"