Absolute Anime

(Warning, following quotes may contain hints to offensive language!)
I love all the eps and quite few lines, but I guess my favorites are from Marik's Evil Councils of Doom, like:
-Pegasus: "I am now suficiently glamourous"
Bakura:"Yes...Nothing says evil quite like womany eyeliner."

-Marik:"Ak..Aku...How's this spelled? Ahkun...Ah...Hakuna-matata? Look I'm just gonna call you Bob, ok?"
Akhenaden:"*mumble mumble*"
Marik:"yeah, that's nice, shut up."

-*phone rings*
Marik *answering*: "What the f**** is it?"
On the phone:"Is your refrigerator running?"
Marik:"I don't have a f****ng refrigerator. I'm a f****ng evil masterming, who lives in the f****ng underground, in f****ng Egypt, for f****s sake! Why would I need a refrigerator?"
On the phone: "Then you better go catch it." *hangs up*
(...)

-Rebecca's teddy bear:"You're mother plays card games in Hell!!!"
Marik:"I know, that's because I killed her."
Rebecca's teddy bear:"Oh...."

I also like the X-mas special ep. With quotes like:
-Kemo:"Attention duelist, my hair is haunting you."
Seto Kaiba:"Are you a ghost?"
K:"Yes"
SK:"But I don't believe in ghosts."
K:"then maybe you'll believe in this!" *pause*
SK:"In what?"
K:"Didn't I just turn invisible?"
SK:"No."
K:"You're lying!"
SK:"Look, you're standing right in front of me, ok?"
K:"That's odd, it usually works..."
SK:"Huhum."
K:"It's really scary."
SK:"Right..."
(...)

-*Kaiba making an announcement to his employees*
SK:"I owe you all an apology. It was wrong of me to make you all work over-time on christmas."
Worker:"Sir, do you really mean it?"
SK:"Yes, instead I have decided to fire all of you. Happy Hannukah."

This if from the Abridged movie:
-SK."(...)You're all fired! From now on you can babysit Mokuba, and he's not potty trained yet."
Worker:"But sir we spent millions on this project..."
SK:"Screw the money, I have rules!....wait, let me try that again."

Ah! And now, some of my personal favs. (WArning, warning -language!) The ep where Yugi set Yami up on a date with Tea.
-*When Yami realizes what's happening*
YAMI: Huh? Yugi, you little [bleep]! You son of a [bleep]ing [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]! (Téa overhears) I'm going to tear off your [bleep] and shove them right up your [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] and then [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] on your [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] with [bleep [bleep] [bleep] in the [bleep] [bleep] and [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] your [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] so then you'll have to [bleep] sideways! (slight pause) [Bleep]! Hmm? (looks up and sees Téa) Oh, hi there.

Ok, now, a part right after that, when they're both in the restaurant:
TÉA: *thinking* This is a dream come true! I can't believe I'm on a date with the Pharaoh! I've got to play it cool. That means no friendship speeches. No matter how tempting it is, I mustn't do a friendship speech. I mustn't!
YAMI: Hey, Téa, what do you think of-
TÉA: *cutting him off* Friendship is the best thing ever! Don't you agree? *pauses and thinks* Dam*it!

And here is the end of the ep:
TÉA: *thinking* Look at him undressing me with his eyes! I wonder what he's thinking.
YAMI: *thinking* Man, I hate milkshakes. *squeezes milkshake cup* Die, milkshake, die! That's right, milkshake, you have been defeated. Now you go to milkshake prison.

Another funny one is on the Paradox brother's ep:
-PARA: We are villains who like to rhyme!
DOX: In fact, we do it all the time!
PARA: You may think it's rather crass!
DOX: But you can stick your cards right up your nose.
PARA: You were supposed to say "as*", brother, I thought we rehearsed this!

-KAIBA: So this is about the hundred-and-seventy-eighth time my brother's been kidnapped. Thanks for listening by the way, it feels good to get this stuff off my chest.
KEMO: Attention Duelist! My hair is definitely not leading you into a trap!
KAIBA: Listen, if you say one more thing about your hair, I'm gonna shave it off.
KEMO: You wouldn't have the guts.
KAIBA: Try me, big boy.

-PARA: Against our Gate Guardian, you stand no chance!
DOX: I'm not wearing any underpants.
PARA: Is that true brother, or are you just rhyming?
DOX: I didn't want to throw off our timing. But it is true.

-KAIBA: Pegasus! I'm gonna make you pay for stealing my cards!
MOKUBA: And for kidnapping me, right Seto?
KAIBA: Shut up Mokuba, mummy and daddy are talking.

-KAIBA: I'll do it! But only to avenge the death of my little brother.
MOKUBA: But I'm not dead, Seto!
KAIBA: Shut up, Mokuba.

XD, all those from one eps XDDD

My personal fav however is "Screw the rules,I have money!" (or in my case "(...) (don't) have money!" XD)

Anyway, if you want to read the transcripts, check out- http://yugioh.wikia.com/wiki/Category:A ... ranscripts
As for the eps, look on youtube or http://www.yugiohtheabridgedseries.com/