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Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
Posted: Sep 22, 2009 3:52pm
by Pennyroyal Tea
A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counsellor. The counsellor asks the wife what is the problem.
She responds " My husband suffers from premature ejaculation."
The counsellor turns to her husband and inquires "Is that true?"
The husband replies "Well not exactly, it's her that suffers not me."
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
Posted: Sep 22, 2009 3:55pm
by Pennyroyal Tea
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, "Wife, we're going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog."
The wife grimaces, "But I don't like fishing!"
"Look! We're going fishing and that's final."
"Do I have to go fishing with you... I really don't want to go!"
"Right I'll give you three choices... 1 You come fishing with me and the dog... 2 You give me a BLOW JOB.... 3 or you take it up the ass!"
The wife grimaces again, "But I don't want to do any of those things!"
"Wife I've given you three options.. You'll HAVE to do one of them! I'm going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!"
The wife sits and thinks about it.
Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, "Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?"
The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, "O.K. I'll give you a blow job!"
"Great!" He says and drops his pants. The wife is on her knees doing the business. Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, "Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting... It tastes all shitty!"
"Yes!" says her husband "The dog didn't want to go fishing either."
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
Posted: Sep 22, 2009 3:58pm
by Pennyroyal Tea
last one I swear, but this is awesome
A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope.
The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill."
The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing.
"What's so funny?" asks the clerk.
"I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house." the man replies.
The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off."
The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!"
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
Posted: Sep 22, 2009 4:01pm
by Pennyroyal Tea
I'm breaking the rule.
A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your pussy?"
The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!"
"Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then."
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
Posted: Sep 22, 2009 4:05pm
by Hardcore
The last one made me giggle. xD
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
Posted: Dec 18, 2009 1:43pm
by Hardcore
Did you hear the one about the black baby who went to heaven and got his wings?
He said, "God, am I an angel now?
To this God replied "Naw nigga you a bat"
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
Posted: Dec 21, 2009 8:40pm
by Pennyroyal Tea
A guy walks into a bar, he walks up to the first woman he sees and says "I can tell you're going to get laid tonight" She asks "Oh really how so?" He says "Because I'm stronger than you"
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
Posted: Dec 22, 2009 7:13pm
by Hardcore
Paroxysm wrote:A guy walks into a bar, he walks up to the first woman he sees and says "I can tell you're going to get laid tonight" She asks "Oh really how so?" He says "Because I'm stronger than you"
;GD,DKJLKGLD 
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
Posted: Apr 07, 2010 7:24am
by Mai
I hate crude humor, lol, but this thread was pretty funny.
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
Posted: May 30, 2010 6:50am
by Kitty
NOU wrote:Did you hear the one about the black baby who went to heaven and got his wings?
He said, "God, am I an angel now?
To this God replied "Naw nigga you a bat"
lmfao! omg that is sooo bad but sooo funny!
Re: Post your Rude, Crude and Filthy Jokes
Posted: Jul 28, 2010 6:28pm
by DNAyres
A man wakes up and sees that his girlfriend is standing at the door with all her stuff packed her coat on and is waiting for a cab. he asks her, "where are you going, sweetheart?" and she says, "I'm leaving you, because I heard that you are a pervert." He sits down and stars at her for a little bit then says, "You know that's an awfully big word for a 12 year old."