Absolute Anime

Something i did in my free time

"Animal Life"
By. Shadow718

The new life, begin as a cat.
as the cat bring life to the young.
The new prepar there life on a rat.
as they claw on a new bat.

"Freedom", the horse's yell as they fly.
Far far away from my eye.
they run wild in the sky.
as they chear far an wide.

The wolf, never rome from the pack.
as he hunt for a rat.
The wolf eat, leving just scrap.
as he travel with the pack.

The dog, ever so playfull.
as he run in the sun.
he carry a bone to hide.
as he wander for bone to fine.

The lion ever so mad.
as he pace like a man.
he roaw when he sleep.
as he only want is peace.

Very interesting.

Although there are various, conspicuous errors in there which are distracting from the creativity.

With some editing, your poem will be great! Keep up the good work.

thanxs, it my weakness on that, but ill fix it as soon as posable.

The whole point of commenting is to judge the poem solely by itself.
It's not fair to dismiss a poem simply because it doesn't fit the genre that you like.

Umm very odd o_O

I don't understand it all exactly but I get the point of what you're trying to send across. From what I see, a fair bit of editing needs to be done so as people can understand it better. As well as maybe work on the flow of it.

Rage wrote:Very interesting.

Although there are various, conspicuous errors in there which are distracting from the creativity.

With some editing, your poem will be great! Keep up the good work.

Conspicuous indeed. I agree with, ..well basically everything Rage said. Keep up the good work

the Main idea about this pome is that we are no diffrent than animal.

that was a really good poem ^^ keep up the good work ^^