Come learn Japanese with me,DVD Review: Cleopatra 2525 - The Complete Series
Before receiving a review copy of Cleopatra 2525 - The Complete Series, I had never caught an episode of the series. After watching the review copy, I'm glad that I never took time out to watch it, because Cleopatra 2525 is one of the dumbest sci-fi/fantasy shows I've ever seen. What's the dumbest, you ask? Probably Land of the Lost. Yeah, I think I'd have to go with Land of the Lost. But anyway, back to Cleopatra 2525. It's the future, the year 2525 to be exact (you know, for all of you out there who thought 2525 was Cleopatra's home address). Practically all humans have been forced to live underground by these things called Bailies, which are giant flying robot blobs with tons of firepower that took over the surface of the Earth.
We start off seeing three people break through what looks like the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel in order to climb up to the surface. Two of the squad are toned females, Sarge and Hel, and the third is a muscular male, Horst. The three flag down a Bailey in order to test their new energy shields, which are basically like forcefields. Fortunately, the shields seem to work considering the Baily lands direct hits and our team doesn't die. Then they use their wrist-rockets to blow off one of the Bailey's cannon arms, and then head back down. But Horst was hit, and it's then that the two ladies discover he was actually a Betrayer robot... which, just like it sounds, is meant to infiltrate and destroy them. So they all exchange fire and the two chicks take off, but Sarge is injured so they head to a doctor to get her a new kidney from one of the many people that were frozen in the 21st century.
While this is going on, one of those frozen people wakes up. Can you guess who it is? If you said Fry, then your wrong. He's from Futurama, that half-hour animated show from Matt Groening, the creator of the Simpsons. If you said Ripley, then just get out now. She wasn't even from the 21st century! Okay, it's Cleopatra... or at least that's her stripper name. I don't remember what she said her real name is. And really, does it even matter? So she apparently went in for a boob job and just never woke up. Unfortunately for her, she's awake now, and in a world overrun by robots and in the middle of a battle between the two chicks and a Betrayer. Well, long story short, the three of them eventually make it back to their hideout, kill the Betrayer, and along the way the fill Cleo in on what's going on. From then on the trio of T&A take on the evil robots surface-conquering robots, bump weapons with dastardly mutants, and pretty much just fight any baddies that come their way.
Luckily, these chicks have got some good assists on their side. Hel has some kind of implant near her hear which lets her hear this female voice called "Voice", which appears to know a lot about everything. Voice has insight that very few others have, and this gives the team an unfair advantage. Besides sending them on missions to help further their goal of reclaiming the surface, she also guides them and helps keep them safe. The other member of their team is a good robot named Mauser. He's one hunk of a man, and the one responsible for reconfiguring that Bailey cannon arm so they could use it to destroy Horst. He carries a lot of useful information in that electronic brain of his, information which cannot be allowed to fall into enemy hands, so he usually doesn't go on missions and just hangs out in the lair. Oh yeah, and he gives good massages too. Voice is intriguing, but all the rest of the characters just felt flat to me. I didn't care about any of them. And actually, the main character, Cleopatra, got on my nerves pretty quickly. In the beginning of the series, she screams and whines all the time, which is extremely annoying. She doesn't do it as much later on, but by then it's too late, as my hate has already been solidified.
The sets and costumes are crazy, wacky, cheesy, freaky, cool, beautiful, and very detailed. The show looks really nice, and I know they were purposefully going for campy. There's absolutely no doubt about that. This show is not meant to be taken seriously. It actually reminded me very much that old Batman and Robin show, except with a much higher budget. There are goofy villains dressed in funny costumes with lackeys dressed in even stranger uniforms, and all fighting with about as much effort as Lucas put into making Star Wars - Episode I, The Phantom Menace... which I don't actually know if it was a lot or not, but it sure didn't seem like very much. The characters usually use these wrist band weapons that shoot laser beams, and ocassionally pick up hand hand laser guns as well, yet every time to shoot any of them they act like there's some series kickback, even when they're firing a laser weapon that is completely out! Hello?! Projectiles have kickback, not lasers, and even if they did, there wouldn't be any kickback on a weapon that didn't end up firing anything.
Oh yeah, and for some reason these chicks love to to all sorts of flips and cartwheels and junk. They serve no practical purpose, and they don't even look very good. You see the start of a flip, then some stunt double, then zoom back in to the character finishing the flip. Now picture this, one of the babes is running from some assailants down a cylindrical hallway. She has a gun in hand, and instead of pointing it behind her and shooting, she veers off and starts running up the side of the cylindrical hallway so that she can do a flip. Once the flip is complete, then she points the gun behind her, shoots, and continues running. So why the heck did she even bother? She was facing forward during the entire flip. It's not like she was facing backwards for part of it enabling her to shoot her assailants. And, on top of that, it slowed her down... at a time when she was running to get somewhere specific because she had a collar that was going to explode after a certain amount of time and she needed it cut off. So why waist the time doing that stupid maneuver?!
This set DVD box set contains three discs. The first two are double-sided, while the third is single-sides (but still doesn't contain any artwork). All thirty episodes are included, plus deleted scenes, outtakes, and an episode of Earth 2. The packaging is nice and attactive, with the outer box being textured and sparkly. Each episode selection on the DVD menu contains an episode summary, which is really nice and conveinent. I wish all TV DVD box sets would do this. Anyway, I'm just not a fan of this type of show, although I know there are many out there who are. I'm sure Cleopatra 2525 has a cult following, and probably even a petition to get it back on the air (though there's no way that's gonna happen). And you all probably like Lexx as well. That's fine, I have no problem with out. You guys should all go buy this box set, because you'll love it to death. I'm going to stick with Farscape, Enterprise, Battlestar Galactica, and Babylon 5.
Cleopatra 2525 - The Complete Series is being released by Universal Home Video on DVD starting July 19, 2005, and stars Jennifer Sky as Cleopatra, Gina Torres as Helen, Victoria Pratt as Sarge, Patrick Kake as Mauser, David Press as Horst, Mark Williams as Cat Man, Elizabeth Hawthorne as Voice, Rupert Cocks as Granger, Joel Tobeck as Creegan, and Danielle Cormack as Raina.
