FRIENDS TALK

[Cloud Leonhart]

And you? How are you today?

[Biki]

not happy. another emo biki tragedy. ill forget what im sad about now by tomorrow tho. :/ just like i did last night. i wanna talk to my bf but i cant reach him. too complex an issue. >.< im not sure but i think he thinks im breaking u with him and im not. i went emo biki on him when he wasnt able to talk to me and by the time he was i was sleep. (he needs to stop trying to talk to me at 1:30am when i have work in a few hourz -.-) now i think he's confused which is confusing me.....this has been a rant from the 1 and only,
~Biki

[Cloud Leonhart]

Have you tried arranging a time to talk to each other or something?

[Biki]

no. >.> he's always busy. -.- i call him and he says, "ill call you back." about 2 days ago was 1 of the rare occassions that he actually did. :/ its 1 of the things i hate and i have a very specific hate list. -.-

[Cloud Leonhart]

Does he ever have a day off or something?

[Biki]

yea. doesnt call much tho. he's always playing some video game or another. lamer. -.- he actually called his feet more entertaining than me the other day. -.- how annoying. -.-

[Cloud Leonhart]

That's mean...He really should call you on those days.

[Biki]

its whatever. i just wish i felt like he cared. if i felt like he cared it really wudnt matter much, but i dont really feel like that much lately. except this morning. >.> he sent me a text this morning asking me to call him (at 1:15am of course -.-) and his sig read "? Los+ @No+h@ 1" (and if u cant read the leet it says "i lost another 1", which is what makes me think he thinks im breaking up with him.) >.> i asked him if thats what he meant but of course he hasnt answered my calls nor texts. -.- im going to stop wasting the money. i pay my own cell bill and im too broke to keep playing with him. -.- but i cant help thinking its about me. >.> it makes me feel like he would really care if he lost me. i just wanna feel wanted u know?.....anothe rlong rant from:
~Biki

[Cloud Leonhart]

Honestly, if he really cared, he would arrange a time that's good for YOU. At least...that's what I would do...but I'm not exactly like the usual guy.

[Biki]

nope. ur much sweeter cloud. ^^ when boiz grow older they seem to get stupider. >.> thats the way it looks to me neway. :/ i told him he was mean the other day. he said he was a mean person. :/ he's not. he can be sweet. he just has a weird way of showing his love that not many ppl get. unfortunately i get it which is y i cant leave him. i know he loves me, just wish he'd show it in a way that could make us both happy. he knows me well. i called him once having no real intention, just wanted to talk to him. i just listened to him breathe for awhile and he said something like, "what did u want to talk about?" and i said something along the lines of, "idk, but i do know something..." and b4 i cud say nething more he sed,"i love u 2." thats 1 of the sweetest things in the world to me. thats exactly what i was about to say. ^^ he can make me really happy sometimes, but he can also hurt me really bad. i figure i can live thru the pain if i can experience even 1 more moment like that. im a huge romantic, as u can tell. ^^ i have a quote i made up in one of my realizational periods of realizing (repeated for a lack of a better word) that i cud stand the pain to be loved by him. it says, "Pain is the sacrafice we make for love." i truly believe that. ^^ doesnt it make a little sense, anyway?o.o

[Cloud Leonhart]

Yeah, it makes sense. ^_^ And it's nice that you're so...what's the word...loyal? Yeah, loyal to him. I'd think most girls would've left him by now.

[Biki]

i think most might have to. i dont think iv loved ne1 like i love him b4. in fact i know i havent. theres just something about him im drawn to. he was drawn to the person he thought i was awhile ago. sure gave him a run for his money lol. ppl always assume they know me. there r few i can say truly know me. ur 1 cuz i tell u basically everything XD! but if u cant tell things to ur own conscince who can u tell them to? ^^ and my cousin. she is JUST like me. how i love her. but she contains everything i hate in myself too which makes her irritating sometimes. -.- but love her cuz she knows me in and out. she knows my heart cuz its her own.....how i love her. ^^

[Cloud Leonhart]

Heh, that must be nice. ^_^ I wonder what my cousins are like...

[Nyx]

Allo. ^^

[Cloud Leonhart]

Hey, Naru. How are ya?

[Biki]

lol. u shud get to know them. she's 3 years younger than me but is basically me all the same lol.