Post Crappy Pick-up Lines Here!

[Mrs. Vengeance]

Hehe. I just had to make a thread about this. If you've got any pick up lines to share, post 'em here!



Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.

Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

Are you accepting applications for your fan club?

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

They call me "coffee". I grind so fine.

This is a test of the emergency pick up line service. Beeeeeeeeeep. If you had been any less beautiful, you would have just heard a bad pick up line.

Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.

It's not my fault I fell in love. You're the one that tripped me.

My name is Justin. Justincredible.

Hey, there. I've got a question for you. What's the speed limit of sex? (I don't know) 68. Because at 69 you have to turn around!

If you were my sister/brother, incest would be cool.

[Cherry Darling]

If I flip a coin what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?

Hey... I might not be the cutest one here... but I am the only one talking to you.

Do you believe in love at first sight... or should I walk by again?

Do you have a map? Cuz honey - I just keep gettin lost in your eyes.

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock.

Seriously honey - sex is like pizza. Even if it's bad it's still pretty darn good.

If I were to ask you for sex... would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

[Mrs. Vengeance]

Beavis and Butthead Pick up Lines!

Uh, hey baby.

Uh, do you like, come here often. Huh, huh. I said "come."

You need a man in your life, baby. And like, I need a woman. Let's like get into each other's life or whatever.

Uh, like let's drop all the uh, B.S. and like, you know, do it.

Uh, get out of my car and into my dreams, baby.

What's your sign? Is it "Yield"? Huh, huh, huh, huh...

If I said you were sexy, would you hold your body against me?

I can make you feel like I've never had sex before...

My lips are registered weapons.

I'm not trying to pick you up. You're like, too heavy. Huh, huh, huh, huh. Get it?

If I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public...

If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree.

If you ever had sex with a machine, that's what it's like with me. 'Cause I'm like, a sex machine...

If you're really hot, I bet I can cool you down.

Hey, are you one of those chicks who goes out with guys right off the bat? 'Cause that's what I'm looking for.

Should I call you for breakfast or will you like, cook it for me?

You may not be really hot, but I bet you like to do it.

Uh...what?

Uh, I'm like a doctor, uh, an orthodontist, I'm gonna have to ask you to, ya know, uh, take off your clothes.

Hey, is that hard? Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. I said HARD!

[Pyong]

Nice legs... when do they open?

[Symos]

Let me get my library card, I'd like to check you out.

If I could rearange the alphabet I would U and I together.

[Mrs. Vengeance]

Your graphics are so beautiful that they rival Doom 3.

Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?

Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.

Hey babe, how about a pizza and a f**k? [Slap] HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?

Hi, do you want to have my children? (assuming the answer is 'no'), OK then, can we just practice?

Hi, I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; and by the way, you have my consent.

I love you. I want to marry you. Now f**k my brains out.

I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.

Sex is a killer...want to die happy?

Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.

The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to f**k you on the floor.

Look out in the night sky. You see that bright light to the right of that red one? That is a comet that is streaking towards here at 34546 miles per hour. At that rate, it will be here in about an hour. So, wanna f**k?

Love is a sensation; caused by a temptation; to feel penetration; a guy sticks his location; in a girl's destination; to increase the population; for the next generation; did you get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?

I'm a necrophiliac... How well do you play dead?

Hi, I'm a representative for Joe Boxer. I'm doing a survey on which brand guys prefer leaving in the corner of the room while having wild sex.

[Gaming Goddess]

[quote="FreakyGothChick"]
Love is a sensation; caused by a temptation; to feel penetration; a guy sticks his location; in a girl's destination; to increase the population; for the next generation; did you get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?
quote]
Hey that's written in the back of one of my school books!

[Mrs. Vengeance]

At the office copy machine: "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"

Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? (No.) D'ya wanna do lunch?

Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?

Hey baby, let's play house. You can be the door and I'll slam you!

Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's putting me up for adoption.

Hi, I'm new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I've see so far. Can you give me a tour of your body?

I think I could fall madly in bed with you.

Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.

Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!

Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.

Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.

That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?

Hey baby there's a party in my pants and you are invited!

I'm a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?

Hey babe- pretend my pants is France and invade them.

I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.

[Cherry Darling]

This is already an ackward situation, so why don't we get naked and make it worse?

I'll bet you 100 bucks that you can't get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.

I hope you know CPR, cause you take my breath away.

Yo baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King. You treat me right, and I'll do it your way, right away.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonalds, you'd be McGorgeous.

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be cumming too.

[Mistress of Yaoi]

well i would have to say it's not the bAd pick up lines i hate but when i guy "accidently" falls and lands on top of you.

[Sesshylvr]

Hey, I lost my number, can I have yours?

[Mrs. Vengeance]

I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.

I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down.

Chicks dig me. I wear colored underwear.

Do you have a boyfriend? [No.] Want one? [Yes.] Well, when you want a manfriend, come and talk to me.

If you were a booger I'd pick you first.

My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.

Guy: I bet you're a C-cup.
Girl: How'd you know that?
Guy: My testicles are the same size.

Did you just sit in a water puddle, or are you just happy to see me?

I can see you. [Uh, yeah.] Great! Then how about tomorrow.

Can I borrow 70 cents? [No.] Then how about 69. I'm sure you can offer 69.

Okay, it's not very big and I'm not very good, but I've got the cutest little way of getting on and off.

Hi, I have my own place... well, my own room... in my parents' basement...

[Cherry Darling]

I was sitting here, holding my beer, and realized I'd rather be holding you.

If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box that it came in?

Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

You must be from Pearl Harbor, cuz baby, you're the Bomb.

You must be Jamaican, cuz Jamaican me crazy.

I wish you were a pony carousel at Wal-Mart, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

[Mrs. Vengeance]

Excuse me. My friend over there is a little embarrassed. She'd like your phone number. She wants to know where she can get a hold of me in the morning.

Do you wanna go back to my place, f**k, then never speak again? I do.

Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.

Roses are black, violets are red, what is it going to take, to get you into bed?

[Raoul Duke]

Excuse me, I have forgotten my phone number....could I borrow yours?

[Cherry Darling]

If you were a car, I'd wax you and ride you all over town.

If I said you were an angel, would you treat me like the devil tonight?

Could I get some directions? (To where?) To your heart.

Look at you, with all those curves, and me with no brakes.

Is it hot in here, or is it just you?

Hi, my name's _____, but you can call me "lover".

If your parents hadn't met, I'd be a very unhappy man right now.

You can forget about going to heaven because it's a sin to look that good.

The fact that I'm missing my teeth just means that there's more room for your tongue.