Jeeez! Help!!

[Mai]

Okay, my ex boyfriend was a virgin and I wasn't at the time. We had sex and I told him I was his first so he didn't feel like a total ass. Now he is calling me and telling me he was glad that he waited for me because all these other girls weren't virgins and that he wanted the first time for him to be special.



He wants to go back out because he thinks we're meant together for life, and I have a new girlfriend!! I don't know what to tell him!! I can't tell him that I lied, he'll hate me!! I really don't want that to happen!! Yet if he keeps calling and telling me all of this I'm afraid he'll mess up things with Kim and I!!! REALLY DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN!

[..JUst mE...]

if your over him then like so what if he hates you for lying, thats life not everyone is going to like you. a bit harsh but hey thats life

[Mai]

But we're still friends and I don't know why, but I can't live with myself if we just never talk again.

[..JUst mE...]

yeah, i kinda uummm well just tell him and if he gets mad then you two weren't meant to be together anyway because if he can't handle it while you two are friends then he definantly wouldn't have been able to handle it if you two were still together and tell him thats why you broke up because you didn't feel like you were meant to be together forever.

[geishaboy]

But we're still friends and I don't know why, but I can't live with myself if we just never talk again.

You should have thought about that before you told him lies. Sorry, but thats the cold hard truth. You have made your bed and now you have to sleep in it. He probably will hate you, and he has good reason to. I would be letting of fireworks under your seat if I was him.

I would write this off as a learning experience, you see, people develop trust issues from situations like this that can really [censored] them up in the long run. He may not want to trust another woman for a long time.

Or he may not care. Either way you have to tell him if you want to have a shred of integrity left to your name.

But you can get some piece of mind knowing that everyone makes mistakes from time to time. You simply have to do all within your power to set it right, even if the out come is not to your liking.

[Mai]

I told him last night..He just said he'll call my cell tomorrow (today). Is that good or bad?!?!?!?!?!!?

[Atomosk]

uh-oh

like 芸者男㿮孿 said, you've gotten yourself into a big mess

with any luck, he will be sufficiently mellow in the morning to take the news

[Persiaisis]

u shouldnt of told him!! he might be hurt but now u can sleep. kinda.

[Mai]

Wow, he basically asked me why I didn't tell him..I didn't know what to say!!!! I asked if we could still be friends and he said he'd call me later. I reallllllllllllllly don't want to answer that call.

It was just an innocent white lie! I didn't think that he would take it so..so..like me betraying him!!![censored]!

[Persiaisis]

hes thinking about what to say and do. i wouldnt worri. i think that some guys take the virginity thing seriously and it hurts them some how. i havent figured them out yet.

[geishaboy]

It was just an innocent white lie! I didn't think that he would take it so..so..like me betraying him!!!f***!

When a guy, any guy, saves himself for for someone right, that is kind of a big deal. You have to understand that that sex is coming out of everywhere for guys. Even on a subliminal level, his mind is telling him to reproduce. All he hears from his male friends is girl/sex related most of the time. It's like someone beating you over the head all day long with a sign that reads "Hurry up and have sex allready" written on it.

It's not as easy as you may think to be a guy.

"innocent white lie"? There is no such thing as an innocent white lie. Lies are lies, regardless. You need to face up to this.

All you can do is tell him the truth and hope like hell he doesn't care to much about it, forgives you and everything goes back to normal.

And for gods sake, don't ever lie to someone you are a relationship with ever again.

[Atomosk]

It was just an innocent white lie! I didn't think that he would take it so..so..like me betraying him!!!f***!

yet again, 芸者男㿮孿 is right. that was no little white lie, it was a big, psychologicaly altering lie.

[The Realist]

I would write this off as a learning experience, you see, people develop trust issues from situations like this that can really f*** them up in the long run. He may not want to trust another woman for a long time.

I will agree with you on that statement ??????? Because I've been in that situation. Its hellish as it is. Just telling him will...kill the guy harshly, especially if it was his first time with you. This could be bad if you tell him off the back. But this could turn out to be good if you take it easy and slow it down to him, explaining the situation and such to him.

I'm just hope he will continue to do what he must do and move on.

[Raoul Duke]

I would write this off as a learning experience, you see, people develop trust issues from situations like this that can really f*** them up in the long run. He may not want to trust another woman for a long time.

I will agree with you on that statement ??????? Because I've been in that situation. Its hellish as it is. Just telling him will...kill the guy harshly, especially if it was his first time with you. This could be bad if you tell him off the back. But this could turn out to be good if you take it easy and slow it down to him, explaining the situation and such to him.

I'm just hope he will continue to do what he must do and move on.

Keep it real bro.

[Dretlin]

Okay, my ex boyfriend was a virgin and I wasn't at the time. We had sex and I told him I was his first so he didn't feel like a total ass. Now he is calling me and telling me he was glad that he waited for me because all these other girls weren't virgins and that he wanted the first time for him to be special.



He wants to go back out because he thinks we're meant together for life, and I have a new girlfriend!! I don't know what to tell him!! I can't tell him that I lied, he'll hate me!! I really don't want that to happen!! Yet if he keeps calling and telling me all of this I'm afraid he'll mess up things with Kim and I!!! REALLY DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN!

If you really are not into guys...you cant argue with that...but I dnt think admitting you lied to him is good...feeling bad about is healthly however Mai

You didnt know what to do...its the human condition, best way to handle it is to be very VERY understanding of his emtions and think of every possilbe way he could feel...

[Mai]

He hasn't called back yet..Does that mean he's like..mad???