Wow... im the only one that does work...
Just kiding.
I'm always talking to my friend, and looking at the clock. then if i do work and finish it my teacher doesn't believe me.
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Poems of any sort...
-
Betty
- Visitor
Poetry is so hard,
uniqueness is never there.
lost for words im in despair.
Many lay there unaware,
that there work has had its share.
hmm....that one derived from personal experiance...
but i do still have some hope.....HOPE....
and i was soushi_okita if your wondering
uniqueness is never there.
lost for words im in despair.
Many lay there unaware,
that there work has had its share.
hmm....that one derived from personal experiance...
but i do still have some hope.....HOPE....
and i was soushi_okita if your wondering
great friends: Jesus Christ. Dragon X. Locke. Ender. Bambi. Russel.
with that HOPE i created this piece...
please consider reading....here gos
My heart is a castle, full of light.
There is no spite within the walls.
Outside is a moat, full of deceit.
You hurt me with fiery words.
The castle walls burn down.
Watery deceit gushes in,
and puts the pain out.
I love once more.
i guess the water of deceit broke through a door,
And got into a room of affection.
I have been damaged.
The walls wont grow back.
vulnerability is now a fact.
You see past the burnt down walls,
and realise your a bane.
A wet window of tears grows over your eyes,
as you say your last good byes.
Then, you and i die together.
I shed my pain, and you bed your shame.
DEATH BRINGS BOTH THE MIND AND HEARTS DESIRES,
AND WHEN YOUR IN YOUR GRAVE.....THERE WONT BE A NEED TO CRAVE.
please consider reading....here gos
My heart is a castle, full of light.
There is no spite within the walls.
Outside is a moat, full of deceit.
You hurt me with fiery words.
The castle walls burn down.
Watery deceit gushes in,
and puts the pain out.
I love once more.
i guess the water of deceit broke through a door,
And got into a room of affection.
I have been damaged.
The walls wont grow back.
vulnerability is now a fact.
You see past the burnt down walls,
and realise your a bane.
A wet window of tears grows over your eyes,
as you say your last good byes.
Then, you and i die together.
I shed my pain, and you bed your shame.
DEATH BRINGS BOTH THE MIND AND HEARTS DESIRES,
AND WHEN YOUR IN YOUR GRAVE.....THERE WONT BE A NEED TO CRAVE.
great friends: Jesus Christ. Dragon X. Locke. Ender. Bambi. Russel.
-
Blue-eyes white dragon
- Visitor
-
Hey
- Visitor
I wrote this poem around a year ago..I think. Tell me what you think!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Marionette~
The trembling voice you had never jingled so well.
Your trepidation, your anxieties were frozen inside of your well of reveries.
The ears which belonged to you and you only, never heeded to my utters.
The words spoken by your tongue never influenced well.
I am but a marionette, a pawn, who grasps nothing of this tedious world.
I am but a pseudo, a mindless being who saunters over gold, without appraisal.
Salvage me and perhaps, I can be worthwhile. Only then, will I absorb your lexis, and yearn to expand my mind and to be a boundless piece of art.
"Rain never tasted so sweet." you murmured, as **teardrops stumbled upon your tongue.
"Avenge my death." you pleaded with your last words, as I stood before you with bloody hands.
And you expired, and the world came tumbling down.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
** Should I have "blood" instead of "teardops"? I can't choose! What do you guys think?
Oooo ooo! And what do you think of the last three paragraphs? Like...What do you think is going on? I just want to know if people will understand what has happened.
Thanks guys! Ooo and tell me what you think of it overall too
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~Marionette~
The trembling voice you had never jingled so well.
Your trepidation, your anxieties were frozen inside of your well of reveries.
The ears which belonged to you and you only, never heeded to my utters.
The words spoken by your tongue never influenced well.
I am but a marionette, a pawn, who grasps nothing of this tedious world.
I am but a pseudo, a mindless being who saunters over gold, without appraisal.
Salvage me and perhaps, I can be worthwhile. Only then, will I absorb your lexis, and yearn to expand my mind and to be a boundless piece of art.
"Rain never tasted so sweet." you murmured, as **teardrops stumbled upon your tongue.
"Avenge my death." you pleaded with your last words, as I stood before you with bloody hands.
And you expired, and the world came tumbling down.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
** Should I have "blood" instead of "teardops"? I can't choose! What do you guys think?
Oooo ooo! And what do you think of the last three paragraphs? Like...What do you think is going on? I just want to know if people will understand what has happened.
Thanks guys! Ooo and tell me what you think of it overall too
to complicated....i made links with lines and so forth...but i dont know... the world is dull....and your a puppet...HOORAY! lol
i think i know more...but to scared to say...
1 character seems to be like God...well....powerfull atleast...but he dies......................
im too young to understand...and you made my piece of crap look like a real BIG pice of crap! lol
OVERALL: i hae no idea....! but its better than mine
great friends: Jesus Christ. Dragon X. Locke. Ender. Bambi. Russel.
-
Hey
- Visitor
ZI! Dude! Are you kidding me?! I absolutely Love your poems! I like how you always have kickin' last lines like:Zealous Iquisitor wrote:
the world is dull....and your a puppet...HOORAY! lol
i think i know more...but to scared to say...
1 character seems to be like God...well....powerfull atleast...but he dies......................
im too young to understand...and you made my piece of crap look like a real BIG pice of crap! lol
OVERALL: i hae no idea....! but its better than mine
"i grow thin in the darkness of the brush, no im not tough, but i dont need to be. for they are blind, thanks lord...how kind"
and
"Then, you and i die together.
I shed my pain, and you bed your shame."
Your poems are zee bomb! I would've quoted both poems but post would be too long
Hmm...I had no idea my poem was so complicated...Hehehe but I loved your opinion and your point of view of the poem! awesomeness!
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Betty
- Visitor
I found this quite complex.
But i think this marionette is someone yearning from salvation and in need of help. They are worthless in their current state but they can be helped and then learn."Only then, will I absorb your lexis"
But then after that I cant really understand very well.
I cant grasp it. It seems that the marionette killed the person who it called out to and pleaded to...
""Avenge my death." you pleaded with your last words, as I stood before you with bloody hands."
but then again hes saying "avenge my death"
*is bad at literature analysis*
And then the world that the savior provided to this marionette came tumbling down once it destroyed its savior?
Well thats what i thought but i have a habbit of missing the point of things
Regardless it is a very good poem!!
*bows*
PS: can you plz explain it to me?
But i think this marionette is someone yearning from salvation and in need of help. They are worthless in their current state but they can be helped and then learn."Only then, will I absorb your lexis"
But then after that I cant really understand very well.
I cant grasp it. It seems that the marionette killed the person who it called out to and pleaded to...
""Avenge my death." you pleaded with your last words, as I stood before you with bloody hands."
but then again hes saying "avenge my death"
*is bad at literature analysis*
And then the world that the savior provided to this marionette came tumbling down once it destroyed its savior?
Well thats what i thought but i have a habbit of missing the point of things
Regardless it is a very good poem!!
*bows*
PS: can you plz explain it to me?
-
Hey
- Visitor
LaLa
OMG, ZI is no more!? ZI is Emissary of Despair?? I Liiiikeeeeee! Nice new name! (how did you change it?)
Ok, so when I wrote this poem I wanted it to have...different meanings to different people. I have more than one explanation, so if you could bare with me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1.
The being who this marionette (we'll say it's a she) is talking about, is God. God is seen as someone who was suppose to be there to make her life easier and to guide her but failed. This made her feel unwanted and unworthy.
The marionette begs her God to save her, so that her life can have meaning and light.
At this point, "you" is actually the marionette herself:
it becomes clear that nothing was done to save the marionette, and so she loses faith in her God and kills herself.
As she is dying, she realizes how precious and beautiful life actually was as it flashes before her eyes: ""Rain never tasted so sweet." you murmured, as **teardrops stumbled upon your tongue."
She is angry at herself for doing something so reckless and curses herself ""Avenge my death." you pleaded with your last words, as I stood before you with bloody hands."
And as she dies, her world, her everything tumbles down. "And you expired, and the world came tumbling down."
Explanation # 2:
The marionette in this explanation is Lucifer (God's first and favored angel before the rebellion) who is refereing to God.
Lucifer thinks of him/herself as a puppet controlled by god "I am but a marionette, a pawn, who grasps nothing of this tedious world." "I am but a pseudo, a mindless being who saunters over gold, without appraisal." Lucifer wants to be able to feel and to value something but God denies his wish, leaving Lucifer feeling rejected and unwanted and...angry.
Lucifer begs god to let him/her go, so that he/she can live like a human with his/her own religion and way of thinking, and again, his/her wish is denied.
At the end, Lucifer's anger gets the best of him/her, and kills his/her belief in God (not God, but the friendship, the belief, the good (angelic) part of him/herself)
""Rain never tasted so sweet." you murmured, as **teardrops stumbled upon your tongue." as a part of Lucifer is dying, it has realized that the world is doomed for an angel has been separated, and fears that the beautiful world it has once known will be destroyed.
I don't really know how to explain this line so that you will understand but here it goes: ""Avenge my death." you pleaded with your last words, as I stood before you with bloody hands." The good side of Lucifer (as it is dying) is trying to get the bad side of Lucifer to kill itself as well (since Lucifer would obviously become the devil without the good side) by telling whatever good that's left inside to take revenge.
"And you expired, and the world came tumbling down."
at this point, the good is dead and the heavens fall.
You can't tell that the poem's written about God and Lucifer, I should have explained it as good and bad (since everyone has a little of both inside themselves) So, the main idea is to count God as the good in your heart and Lucifer as the evil.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've got more explanations buuuut...my post's already outdone itself
I would absolutely love some feedback (whether you think these explanations were stupid
or whatever ) or explanations of you own!!
Woooo!
I Liiiikeeeeee! Nice new name! (how did you change it?)Ok, so when I wrote this poem I wanted it to have...different meanings to different people. I have more than one explanation, so if you could bare with me
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1.
The being who this marionette (we'll say it's a she) is talking about, is God. God is seen as someone who was suppose to be there to make her life easier and to guide her but failed. This made her feel unwanted and unworthy.
The marionette begs her God to save her, so that her life can have meaning and light.
At this point, "you" is actually the marionette herself:
it becomes clear that nothing was done to save the marionette, and so she loses faith in her God and kills herself.
As she is dying, she realizes how precious and beautiful life actually was as it flashes before her eyes: ""Rain never tasted so sweet." you murmured, as **teardrops stumbled upon your tongue."
She is angry at herself for doing something so reckless and curses herself ""Avenge my death." you pleaded with your last words, as I stood before you with bloody hands."
And as she dies, her world, her everything tumbles down. "And you expired, and the world came tumbling down."
Explanation # 2:
The marionette in this explanation is Lucifer (God's first and favored angel before the rebellion) who is refereing to God.
Lucifer thinks of him/herself as a puppet controlled by god "I am but a marionette, a pawn, who grasps nothing of this tedious world." "I am but a pseudo, a mindless being who saunters over gold, without appraisal." Lucifer wants to be able to feel and to value something but God denies his wish, leaving Lucifer feeling rejected and unwanted and...angry.
Lucifer begs god to let him/her go, so that he/she can live like a human with his/her own religion and way of thinking, and again, his/her wish is denied.
At the end, Lucifer's anger gets the best of him/her, and kills his/her belief in God (not God, but the friendship, the belief, the good (angelic) part of him/herself)
""Rain never tasted so sweet." you murmured, as **teardrops stumbled upon your tongue." as a part of Lucifer is dying, it has realized that the world is doomed for an angel has been separated, and fears that the beautiful world it has once known will be destroyed.
I don't really know how to explain this line so that you will understand but here it goes: ""Avenge my death." you pleaded with your last words, as I stood before you with bloody hands." The good side of Lucifer (as it is dying) is trying to get the bad side of Lucifer to kill itself as well (since Lucifer would obviously become the devil without the good side) by telling whatever good that's left inside to take revenge.
"And you expired, and the world came tumbling down."
at this point, the good is dead and the heavens fall.
You can't tell that the poem's written about God and Lucifer, I should have explained it as good and bad (since everyone has a little of both inside themselves) So, the main idea is to count God as the good in your heart and Lucifer as the evil.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've got more explanations buuuut...my post's already outdone itself
I would absolutely love some feedback (whether you think these explanations were stupid
or whatever ) or explanations of you own!! Woooo!
-
kagomeH
- Visitor
-
Hey
- Visitor
AAAAAAAAAAG!!! Nooooo!!!
Ok ok, that message ("Explanations" or..well the one with "LaLa" as the subject) was actually posted by me, Anner. Dang...I took so long to write it signed me out or something!!!
Noooo! Is there a way I can fix it? Anyone? Help me!!!! Simple things like this p*ss the jeepers outta me!
anywho, if there's a way I can fix this, PM me! Thank you !
Ok ok, that message ("Explanations" or..well the one with "LaLa" as the subject) was actually posted by me, Anner. Dang...I took so long to write it signed me out or something!!!
Noooo! Is there a way I can fix it? Anyone? Help me!!!! Simple things like this p*ss the jeepers outta me!
anywho, if there's a way I can fix this, PM me! Thank you
!-
Betty
- Visitor
