this is the first draft for a manga that will be published eventually. at least, i hope it will. once i join forces with my artist and summon a portfolio, i will rule the Amerimanga market!
4354, prologue
***************************************************
Tom Jackson got into his bed at 11:52 on a Tuesday night. He wasn't tired, but he knew he wouldn't be able to get up for work in the morning if he stayed up any longer. As he walked down the hallway towards his bedroom, he thought he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head sharply, feeling his pulse quicken. As he watched the spot where the specter had been, he saw nothing. I must be more tired than I feel. He continued down the hallway. Then he definitely saw something in the shadows. He felt his heart skip a beat, and he took a step back "Who's there?!" he shouted. He saw something come out of the shadows, a long black appendage: a paw. Jackson breathed a sigh a relief as he realized that it was only his cat, Mekuro. Now it's official; I'm losing my mind. He went into his bedroom, got into the bed, and turned out the lights. After lying still for a few minutes, he still couldn't shake the feeling that someone or something was watching him. He forced himself to turn on the light and look around.
That's when he saw him.
He was hiding in the shadows, watching Jackson as he froze up. Once Jackson regained freedom of movement, he tumbled out of bed and stumbled to the opposite wall. "Where the hell did you come from? Why didn't the burglar alarm go off?"
The figure snickered, and then replied in a cool, menacing voice, "What? That petty civilian security device? I've seen eggs that were tougher to crack."
By now Jackson was completely terrified. "What do you want? Take anything you're after, just don't hurt me."
Again came the snicker. "I regret to inform you that you are the only thing I'm after. You see, you have been writing unpatriotic articles against our movement against (i'll name the country later). You have been damaging national morale, and making it harder for us to rally support for our just cause. For such traitorous acts, your punishment is death."
In an instant, the figure was in front of Jackson, and by his hand could be seen a glimmer of metal. "My God, what are you?!"
"My name is Hesh, and I am your Angel of Death." With a flash of light, Jackson felt his throat cut, and his limp body fell to the ground.
*******************************************
well? what'd ya think?
Forum is closed. New registrations are disabled. Join our active Discord community.
4354, prologue
4354, prologue
Last edited by Atomosk on Nov 05, 2005 9:14am, edited 1 time in total.
God gave man a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to use one at a time
i heart hinata-chan!
i heart hinata-chan!
re: 4354, prologue
good luck finishing ur manga!
"The melody of logic always plays the notes of truth."::Ayumu "Little" Narumi, Spiral
re: 4354, prologue
thank you! soon, the whole world shall know of Bird Call Studios!
And tell your friends! please! i need critiques!
And tell your friends! please! i need critiques!
God gave man a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to use one at a time
i heart hinata-chan!
i heart hinata-chan!
re: 4354, prologue
BUMP!!!
God gave man a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to use one at a time
i heart hinata-chan!
i heart hinata-chan!
-
The Realist
- Dragon Master Otaku
- Posts: 447
- Joined: Jun 22, 2005 10:28pm
- Gender: Male
- Contact:
re: 4354, prologue
Not bad for a Prologue. I'm kinda interested in seeing how this story may unfold from start to finish. Now all I need now is information about this manga your gonna published and see if it will be any good to read from my perspective and my little cousins eyes (He already reads stuff like this <.< )
Anime is a way of life. But so is Reality and it hits harder.
re: 4354
chapter 1! i have only 2 readers... 
... but i hope that number improves! and withoud further ado, here's
4534, Chapter 1:
In Mermoriam
“This is special unit Hesh, ID number 4534 requesting entry.”
“Roger, 4534, front gate opening. Please report to security check-in immediately”
“Copy that, out.”
Hesh drove his Jeep in through the gate as it opened. As he pulled in, he could feel the spotlights on his back, tracking his every movement. He pulled up next to the small security building and parked the car. He entered, and a guard checked his ID. It met the guard’s standards, so he handed it back smiling.
“Welcome back, sir.”
“Good to be back, sergeant.”
Hesh walked into the gigantic facility cleverly hidden in the mountains. It was a colossal building, 25 floors high, and took up over 40 acres of land. It was so well hidden that flying over it was the only way to realize it was there. Tall mountains surrounded it, and there were only three small roads that cut through the mountain that granted access to the facility, all of which were closely guarded. There were AA guns surrounding the entire area, though only few battery placements. After all, a ground assault would be all but impossible.
Hesh took the elevator to the 16th floor- Command level. As he walked down the hall, he paused and looked out one of the windows. He watched as a construction crew worked on a new extension of the research labs. Hesh generally avoided the labs. He could never explain why the labs made him uneasy, but whenever he came near the labs, he felt as if some sinister force was calling to him.
He didn’t understand why he was afraid of the labs; when he had first come to the facility, he was in the labs. He remembered waking up in a cryogenic tube, his vision blurred by the month he had spent in stasis. Though he couldn’t see who was talking to him as he emerged half-blind from the chamber, he later recognized the voice as being General Truger, the ranking officer and man in charge of the entire facility. He was specially chosen to monitor the various super-soldier projects that occurred within the research labs. Hesh thought back proudly as he remembered that he was one of the successful experiments.
“Experiment number 4534, can you hear me?”
“Yes, but where am I?”
“You’re in the S.T.A.M.P. research and development facility. You are the first and only successful test subject to survive project 1803. Do you understand?”
“Yes…”
“I am the ranking officer at this facility, General Truger. Since you are considered a lieutenant, you will address me as “General” or “Sir.” Do you understand?”
“Yes…sir”
“Furthermore you have been given special augmentations and implants, which you will be instructed on later. In order to observe the effectiveness of your newfound abilities, you will be sent on several assassination missions. Your targets will be individuals who are a threat to our government and country. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
That was over a year ago. In that time, Hesh had targeted and terminated over 30 people. It is an honor, he thought, to be able to help my country and its people by rooting out and killing those who would dare attempt to undermine the government’s intentions.“I trust your mission was successful, 4534?”
Hesh wheeled around to see a skinny old man in a gray-blue military suit standing behind him. He had a neatly trimmed moustache, and had an air of superiority about him that betrayed his frail exterior.
Hesh stood at attention and saluted. “General Truger, sir!” Hesh was still a little surprised that the general could’ve snuck up on him like that. The general is famous for his ability to sneak up on people. Scares the bejesus out of the scientists when he goes for status reports.“At ease, 4534. like I said, I trust your mission was successful?”
“Of course, sir. I would not be back here if it wasn’t.”
Truger laughed. “Very good, very good. Were you about to deliver your report to the brass? You can forget that. I'm on my way to a meeting with them; I’ll give them the news.”
“Thank you, sir!”
“Dismissed.”
Truger walked on in his typical noiseless fashion. Hesh returned to the elevator and went down to level 4- maintenance. He had been feeling a sharp pain in his head. My neural implant must be on the fritz. Better get it fixed before it melts my cerebellum or something. He filled in the necessary paperwork, then sat and waited. When he was called, he entered what looked like an operating room mixed with a car shop, though cleaner. A young, well shaven doctor came in. “Evening, 4534. I see you’re suffering from an off-and-on sharp pain in your head. It’s probably your implant, if you’ll just lie down on the operating table, we can take a look.”
Hesh obliged, and as he lay down, he felt the doctor inject him with a sedative. Hesh let the drug carry him off to sleep.
As the doctor began work on Hesh’s implant, outside an unexpected storm was brewing. It had already started to drizzle, and lightning could be seen less than 1000 feet away from the facility. Within a matter of minutes, the storm was dispersing its wrath upon the facility, releasing lightning strike after lightning strike upon the higher parts of the area. As technicians rushed to raise the lightning rods, a lucky bolt hit a power conduit, sending a surge of electricity throughout the circuit.
In the meantime, the doctor had finished fixing Hesh’s implant, and was about to disconnect the cables attached to his head and inject him with a stimulant, when the power surge flowed through the room, traveling down the wires still attached to Hesh. Hesh woke immediately as the electricity surged through his brain and his implant. As he howled in pain, images ran through his head. A family at a reunion, a cadet in a training exercise, and a name. James Joseph Lenward. All of a sudden Hesh recognized the soldier. It’s…me…
this'll start to make sense as more comes up.
... but i hope that number improves! and withoud further ado, here's4534, Chapter 1:
In Mermoriam
“This is special unit Hesh, ID number 4534 requesting entry.”
“Roger, 4534, front gate opening. Please report to security check-in immediately”
“Copy that, out.”
Hesh drove his Jeep in through the gate as it opened. As he pulled in, he could feel the spotlights on his back, tracking his every movement. He pulled up next to the small security building and parked the car. He entered, and a guard checked his ID. It met the guard’s standards, so he handed it back smiling.
“Welcome back, sir.”
“Good to be back, sergeant.”
Hesh walked into the gigantic facility cleverly hidden in the mountains. It was a colossal building, 25 floors high, and took up over 40 acres of land. It was so well hidden that flying over it was the only way to realize it was there. Tall mountains surrounded it, and there were only three small roads that cut through the mountain that granted access to the facility, all of which were closely guarded. There were AA guns surrounding the entire area, though only few battery placements. After all, a ground assault would be all but impossible.
Hesh took the elevator to the 16th floor- Command level. As he walked down the hall, he paused and looked out one of the windows. He watched as a construction crew worked on a new extension of the research labs. Hesh generally avoided the labs. He could never explain why the labs made him uneasy, but whenever he came near the labs, he felt as if some sinister force was calling to him.
He didn’t understand why he was afraid of the labs; when he had first come to the facility, he was in the labs. He remembered waking up in a cryogenic tube, his vision blurred by the month he had spent in stasis. Though he couldn’t see who was talking to him as he emerged half-blind from the chamber, he later recognized the voice as being General Truger, the ranking officer and man in charge of the entire facility. He was specially chosen to monitor the various super-soldier projects that occurred within the research labs. Hesh thought back proudly as he remembered that he was one of the successful experiments.
“Experiment number 4534, can you hear me?”
“Yes, but where am I?”
“You’re in the S.T.A.M.P. research and development facility. You are the first and only successful test subject to survive project 1803. Do you understand?”
“Yes…”
“I am the ranking officer at this facility, General Truger. Since you are considered a lieutenant, you will address me as “General” or “Sir.” Do you understand?”
“Yes…sir”
“Furthermore you have been given special augmentations and implants, which you will be instructed on later. In order to observe the effectiveness of your newfound abilities, you will be sent on several assassination missions. Your targets will be individuals who are a threat to our government and country. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
That was over a year ago. In that time, Hesh had targeted and terminated over 30 people. It is an honor, he thought, to be able to help my country and its people by rooting out and killing those who would dare attempt to undermine the government’s intentions.“I trust your mission was successful, 4534?”
Hesh wheeled around to see a skinny old man in a gray-blue military suit standing behind him. He had a neatly trimmed moustache, and had an air of superiority about him that betrayed his frail exterior.
Hesh stood at attention and saluted. “General Truger, sir!” Hesh was still a little surprised that the general could’ve snuck up on him like that. The general is famous for his ability to sneak up on people. Scares the bejesus out of the scientists when he goes for status reports.“At ease, 4534. like I said, I trust your mission was successful?”
“Of course, sir. I would not be back here if it wasn’t.”
Truger laughed. “Very good, very good. Were you about to deliver your report to the brass? You can forget that. I'm on my way to a meeting with them; I’ll give them the news.”
“Thank you, sir!”
“Dismissed.”
Truger walked on in his typical noiseless fashion. Hesh returned to the elevator and went down to level 4- maintenance. He had been feeling a sharp pain in his head. My neural implant must be on the fritz. Better get it fixed before it melts my cerebellum or something. He filled in the necessary paperwork, then sat and waited. When he was called, he entered what looked like an operating room mixed with a car shop, though cleaner. A young, well shaven doctor came in. “Evening, 4534. I see you’re suffering from an off-and-on sharp pain in your head. It’s probably your implant, if you’ll just lie down on the operating table, we can take a look.”
Hesh obliged, and as he lay down, he felt the doctor inject him with a sedative. Hesh let the drug carry him off to sleep.
As the doctor began work on Hesh’s implant, outside an unexpected storm was brewing. It had already started to drizzle, and lightning could be seen less than 1000 feet away from the facility. Within a matter of minutes, the storm was dispersing its wrath upon the facility, releasing lightning strike after lightning strike upon the higher parts of the area. As technicians rushed to raise the lightning rods, a lucky bolt hit a power conduit, sending a surge of electricity throughout the circuit.
In the meantime, the doctor had finished fixing Hesh’s implant, and was about to disconnect the cables attached to his head and inject him with a stimulant, when the power surge flowed through the room, traveling down the wires still attached to Hesh. Hesh woke immediately as the electricity surged through his brain and his implant. As he howled in pain, images ran through his head. A family at a reunion, a cadet in a training exercise, and a name. James Joseph Lenward. All of a sudden Hesh recognized the soldier. It’s…me…
this'll start to make sense as more comes up.
God gave man a brain and a penis, but only enough blood to use one at a time
i heart hinata-chan!
i heart hinata-chan!