((Invites only)) Taruinia

[Grell]

Yeah. My next class is in the 300's. Fisher's room. Meet me near the doors between the 300s and 400s?

well, why don't i just meet you in the 300's hallway to your next class? then we don't have to get trampled in the hallway.

okay

[Cheshire Cat]

I added Kyra and Zexis to my first post.

[dragoon012]

I'm here i sould be on everyday 2ed hour

My head hurts

[Aiden]

i'm so....stuck.

and it's not even just what kelly and "talked" about yesterday. I use "talked" in quotations because I didn't really talk back...I just, sat there. Everything she said stunned me and don't know if there's anything we can do. I got home, in the safety of a house and cried from the stress. Then I got up and peed and started freaking out because there was blood on my bathroom floor.

Ifrit can't die, for the safety of Rachelle. I called her last night and I almost broke down there because I don't want to lose her. ;_;

[Aiden]

“You can shed tears that he is gone,
or you can smile because he has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see him,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember him only that he is gone,
or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what he'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

To: Lirial
From: Phoenix

Everyone who inhabits Yamini is worried about you Lirial and this is the best way to think about it. No one wants to lose you and as Kirial said "'If you fall the rest of us will fall like Domino's'".

[Grell]

Its not just her though. If we don't go, I won't survive. I can't live here. I know people would want me to live on and whatever, but I can't okay? I hate this life, and if I have to listen to my uncles, brothers, sisters, friends, and everyone else die and have the place I know of as home fall to something worse than pure evil itself, I'll go insane. I'll die in one way, then another, and if I live through that, the person you knew would be dead. I don't know what would be left.... Probably a hollow, hurting, empty, angry, silent shell.

[Aiden]

I don't want anyone to die because of something so stupid as trying to get there or not finding the key to get to another world or everyone dying off because we didn't get there in time. You don't understand how important you are in the lives of other. I can't lose all of my friends to something like this. If this doesn't turn out in a good way I don't want you to kill yourself just because of it. I mean I couldn't even live with that, there's just too much stress involved in all of this and i just i couldn't even live with the terror of that and how my dad doesn't even have any one besides me really and if i leave the only thing he has is the dog. I mean there's all these things I'm so worried about it's it's just too much. The only thing I can really offer anyone is to think of the good times we had and that we can't dwell on all of everything that might happen.


Like I said, I'm stuck in a position where I have to contact Megan.

[Grell]

Why are you going to contact Megan?

Paige, we're friends, but you don't understand how I feel. I've live sixteen years, and I'm ready to die. I'd rather risk my life and DIE for something that matters to me, then have to DEAL with the FEAR AND PAIN of NOT doing anything. I REFUSE to live my life SAFELY if it means that I have to WATCH AND LISTEN to others DIE because of something I DIDN'T OR COULDN'T DO. I'd BLAME MYSELF. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? I care about you guys, but I can't live with that!! I can't live with however many lives might be lost on my shoulders. I'd feel that weight, and it will crush me. It will crush me.

[Grell]

PS ITS NOT STUPID! NEVER SAY THAT AGAIN! EVER! ITS NOT STUPID! It matters to me, and if you say its stupid, then I must be stupid. And I'd rather be stupid then a coward. >(

And no, I'm not saying you're a coward, I'm just saying that's what it'd make me if I didn't believe.

[Aiden]

you keep saying i don't understand how you feel but i do. I know because you told me several times, but kirial you must not know how I FEEL! You're not listening. I can't do this. I can't lose any of you. Not ever. I can't lose you, any...of...you....to something we may not be able to get to, achieve true happiness for. I mean if you're beginning to doubt now about this being real, then.....i don't know. I don't know how to help you. I want to, but I can't because you aren't allowing me to. The only reason people are starting to die is because we're beginning to lose faith, all the [censored] is hitting the fan. You can't think about killing yourself, no one can, that's just another sign of doubt, that's just another sign that if we die they will too, that if you fail everyone does.


PS OH WELL WHOOP DE DOO I'M SORRY! ;_; I'M JUST I'M [censored] STUCK AND I KNOW NO MATTER HOW MUCH I SAY THIS NOTHING IS GOING TO CHANGE. BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MATTER ABOUT HOW I FEEL, THAT'S EVEN THE LAST THING ON MY MIND! I JUST DON'T WANT TO LOSE ANY OF YOU.... TT_TT you must not understand how your actions reflect those of others. i just i can't emphasize this enough i guess but i can't CAN'T lose any of you to something like this. I don't wanna become the next Tasha.

[Grell]

Yeah, Paige. You know exactly how I feel, because you're feeling it now. Just like you don't want to lose us, I don't want to lose them. So let's come to an agreement. I'll let you think of one, since I'm too high and mighty to.

[Aiden]

i just...i don't know. i can't do anything. i'm stuck. i just can't think of anything new. my brain says the same things over and over again. and.........i don't know.

but i'd do anything to get the thought of death off of your brain and rachelle's and whom ever elses i just i can't lose anyone and i know i'm saying that a lot but i......i can't help it.

[Grell]

I know, Paige. I'm sorry. And its not that I'm thinking about this all because I'm doubting. No, in fact, its because I believe in it so much. They're real to me, and I don't want to lose them.

[Grell]

Paige, what's that thing in your siggy mean?

[Aiden]

I know, Paige. I'm sorry. And its not that I'm thinking about this all because I'm doubting. No, in fact, its because I believe in it so much. They're real to me, and I don't want to lose them.

Then don't lose them, don't let them fade away. The only thing I have right now that's at all helpful and keeping at least some alive is going there my self and helping Chiko. I don't know how you feel about it. But I've been there and it's not pretty.

[Airinora]

Oh. It is too late for Tasha.

She'll lose you all soon enough... By your stupid actions.