a crazy-assed [censored] story i wrote a month 1/2 ago

[Chaotic reminder]

im gonna make so many brownies that ull wonder if im a evil robot sent back in time to open a dimentional rift from which a endless wave of undead chickens with rocket launchers mounted on them will feast upon the living....

that alone will someday lead to the earth being assaulted from orbit by a alien battlecruiser shaped like a gigantic penis....

which could cause evil demonic parasidic creatures to rise from the ocean and borrow their way into the skulls of human being and then compress their brains til their eye pop out of their sockets and the flesh begains to condense and blood will be forced out the sweat glands. after this the parasites will take over the remaining living organs of the body and enforce their undivine wrath upon the innocent, which will make taxes go down and cause another stock market crash.

because of this, the pressident's daughter will be killed, and out of a apocaliptic rage he will order that every male except himself to have their testicals chopped off and have their penises engulfed in flames. in retaliation the teenage men will assault the president's death forrtress on haiwai and force him to be put to death by suffication by placing him in the center of a 50-person all-girl orgy, from which all the moaning and stuff will vaccum out all the oxygen, putting the insane president to death once and for all

in secence to this, several crappy movies by johnny depp, stuwart townsend and the voice actors of bakura and marik from yu-gi-oh will be made in a matter of months and shipped all around the world, during which the parasite infested humans will sneak on-board the ships that are supplying the movies and start attacking france, italy, england, germany, russia, japan, china and some uninhabited island in the middle of the ocean. the massive attacks from these inhumane monstrous parasites will knock over the leaning tower of piza, which will turn out to be a gateway to hell from which a giant dragon, a cerabus, fredy kruger and a [censored] load of communists will emerge.

the communists will attack the nearest air port and slaughter the gaurds and fly to the uninhabited island illegally without a passport, the island will then be discovered as a secret door to atlantis, where the communists will have a first contact situation and come face to face with hundreds of beserk hobos. the commnists will have to battle their way thru many of these hobos to find a 24-pack of condoms, and then they will have a orgy.

meanwhile. in japan, a feudal lord will capture the main actors of this movie that unleashed the parasites and a shogun will chop of their heads with a giant epeen.

then tobacco companies will decide this is the perfect time to start selling a new, more lethal kind of cigarette will nitro-glicerine and sperm in the ingredients. and the people that smoke in the army will start falling ill and having health problems on the frontline while fighting the parasites and the giant dragon, the ingredients of the new cigarettes will also contain a viral agent that turns people into brain eating zombies, causing 3/8ths of the u.s. military to turn into undead.

then corperations will create bumper stickers with lewd pictures of dogs humping and human women giving blow jobs, because of this there will be a major moral drop in the citizens of america.

the u.s. army will run out of ammo and start throwing beer cans at the enemy, the corona comany will take this as a personal insult and take out their anger by launching a nuke at china, causing millions of innocent people to die from the explosion or the radiation. the "AXE" deoderant company will find this very ineffective and start flame wars on online forums with beer corp employees.

europe will stop supplying any food to america and start to stock up in underground shelters and hide while launching nukes at themselves in hope that the radiation will kill the parasites, instead they bring nuclear winter upon themselves and die out

a japanese guy will step on a chinese guy's shoe and start arguing with him, causing both countries to war with each other, the japanese will win by bombarding the chinese with battleship shells and candle wax. fredy kruger will die in a assault on japans sea-ward boarder but manage to slice open the leader of japan causing the japanese econemy to fall apart and die because they ran out of pocky

the dragon will attack the cerubus in the middle east destroying a large amount of the land and killing the cerabus, the undead will then move to the middle east and by luck find osadem bin laden and devour his brain, then they will build a radio shack inside the cerabus's skull but then be shut down for not paying rent. then they will try to suced from the middle east and be destroyed by biological weapons.

in america the AXE deoderant company will begin fighting the beer companies head to head with physical combat, they will develope a deoderant flame thrower which will cause the corpses to smell nice even when being singed to the bone, but in the mean time the over-usage of the flame thrower in large quantities will cause the ozone to disinigrate causing the entire earth to burst into flames.

and all because i had to make those damn brownies...

[GravyTrain]

Ah Lawdy, that's quite the prediction.
It would be quite believable, however you didn't once mention dolphins growing legs and stealing our women and vamypre roleplayers taking over Michigan.

[Chaotic reminder]

meh

[GravyTrain]

meh

4 out of 5 scientists agree, my predictions are 100% guaranteed, given enough time.

[Chaotic reminder]

meh

4 out of 5 scientists agree, my predictions are 100% guaranteed, given enough time.

we'll 100% of the people at the asilum agree that someday my predictions will be right too!

[Mrs. Vengeance]

*rotflmao*

That story was extremely hilarious yet disturbing at the same time.

[Chaotic reminder]

*rotflmao*

That story was extremely hilarious yet disturbing at the same time.

just like me! *plays a song from korn and swings his head up and down*