Words locked away...

[Motoko Chan]

Sometimes I wish I could yell out
scream out what I feel.
Create a tumult of sound to tell that
one person how he makes me feel.
But when I try to say what my
heart beats to say,the words
won't find themselves.

My heart beats for that one person,
but he won't know.No matter the
tumult in my head,the pounding of my heart.
If I can't find the words,then
they stay locked away,deep within the
inner reaches of my heart and soul.

If only you could see it in my eyes,
the way I feel,the way I act towards you
and know why I act that way,then maybe you'd understand.But No,you can't see it,and my words
are still locked away...

[Cold Revolver]

Pretty good, I think that last bit could be re worked however. 9/10

[8===D~~ [emo]]

I thought this was the Talent section. Must me in brainless chitchat...

[josh]

shut up cock emo.

It is a sweet piece of writing. You should write some more.

[demonduckofdoom]

Like Revolver, I think the last line or so could be improved, but overall it has a nice rhythm to it. Good work!