A Poem.... Because I'm Bored

[Vagrant_AI_Twilight]

How do you know when you're in love?
When your heart beats like a thousand hooves?
When your breath becomes ragged?
When you look upon them and feel the very core of your body
Melt like ice?
When you hear their sweet voice
And sigh?
When you feel their skin brush against yours
Ever so slightly, and it runs up your nerves
Like an electric shock?
How do you know when you're in love?



*So, any thoughts, comments, etc.?*

[Royal Moonshadow]

Well that was amasing!
If that was supposed to be a poem it is really good!
I love it. Perfect. I am SHOCKED!!!

[Vagrant_AI_Twilight]

Arigato. I'm glad to hear someone liked it.

[Akemi]

it's cute... probably you're in love

[josh :)]

its no master piece but it is cute

[Faolán]

It's pretty good. The imagery was good and the flow was relatively decent. A bit straight forward though, not that that's bad. Have you ever tried writing something more...subtle I guess is the word. Anything that provokes the reader to think and find the meaning for themselves? It's no that this poem is bad, not at all, it really is rather good it's just that as a reader I like something that provokes my thoughts a bit more : )

Hope you don't hate me for this, my praise tends to be double-edged xP

[josh :)]

Anything that provokes the reader to think and find the meaning for themselves?

This poem does that quite adequately already, for scorpionwarrior.

[scorpionwarrior]

Hey!!! XD

I have to agree with Faolan for the most part. Though I'm looking more at the layout of it. I didn't really feel any flow to it possibly because of how it was set out, though that could just be me. The poem itself was understandable though so Well done

[Vagrant_AI_Twilight]

Wow, didn't expect this much feedback. Thanks for all the comments!

Akemi: I am in love...
Faolan: Thanks for the feedback. I try to be subtle, but, as my friends know all too well, that's pretty much impossible for me.
scorpionwarrior and Jesus Christ: thanks!