Forgiving

[Shining Star]

This is something I really struggle with, and it's been on my mind alot, because well it is. I don't really know how better to explain it. I don't struggle so much in forgiving others, I struggle with forgiving myself. I know very well that God forgives me, yet it is hard for me to stomach the things that I might do to others.

For example, I got into a huge fight with my best friend last night at our shared apartment over something really trivial, and I one uped the argument when I basically told her off in a very colorful way. It really bothered me because I really don't like fighting because I've dealt with it most of my life in extreme forms when I used to live in my dysfunctional house.

What threw me off, is she forgave me just like that, as if nothing happened. And it bothered me because I felt so bad at what I did and how I treated her, and it hasnt been the first time. But still she forgave me.

Now, ironically, since I became a Christian a couple of years ago, I become even more destructive at myself when I do wrong because it's not God pleasing, but here's the clincher I should not beat myself up like that because God does not want us/me to feel bad. And I should just except that I sin and I'm going to mess up real bad and I just need to except it and move on.

Yet, I still struggle with forgiving myself when I step out of line or do something wrong and sinful..does anyone else feel this way?

[Kitty]

I don't like fighting either but it happens. People don't always agree and you argue but Best Friends always forgive each other no matter what. And I kinda know what you mean... I fight with Bill all the time and then most of the time I end up crying about it later because I wish I wasn't that way. Fighting/Arguing is a part of life, it will happen every now and then. If she is your true best friend she will always forgive you, and if she forgives you then you should forgive yourself because you know everything is okay... But if you can't seem to forgive yourself then you should talk to the person you had the argument with and tell her how you feel. Hopefully then you can forgive yourself. =)

[Mai]

you should never berate or praise yourself too much. ultimately your in just the same boat as everyone else, and unfortunately you always will be. with having said that, if you can forgive another (as another has forgive you) you'll do best to cultivate the power of yourself to give personal forgiveness unto yourself just as equally. you'll always have potential to either screw up or do good. at least just as much potential as anyone else. life is 50/50 in the whole "right vs bad". so when you do something wrong and you are forgiven by said person-in which scenario infliction occurred-you'll then need to realize that the damage done isn't as important as moving on and growing from it.

instead of smashing yourself to bits over something you no longer have control of-whats said and done-try to understand better how to next avoid the situation (of the problematic nature) and in turn make a better action when faced with options that could lead to the same ultimate turn out. so essentially you'll need to learn from this transgression made upon your friend, understand everything has already happened, forgive and keep it as a monument to how any one person can grow from choices and decisions, and try best to not repeat.

because with forgiveness comes profound understanding. if you are forgiven, and you forgive yourself in return, then you'll [most likely] better assess the next potential 'fight' between another human being and thus your reactions will be exceedingly more rational, of genuine control and you will find that there will be no room to have to 'forgive'.

that and, no one is perfect. at best we are just the epitome of human kind, and as such, you're going to inadvertantly (or even intentionally) sin on your neighbors. all you can do at that point is look at yourself and say 'yes, this is obviously the choice i made, and what have i gained from it?' and as a result? you'll just have to enjoy the detours you'll make on the path to a rightful and relatively respectable life, because you'll certainly take a few.

i love you, dont feel too bad about this. because people do far worse (and thats not few or far between. sick twisted fact of life is you're not always going to correctly assess a situation and at times things will go sour). but at the end of every night when you are reflecting upon said events, its within your best interest to find a way to grow from it. and lets face it, weighing yourself with the burden of feeling 'less than' the perfect soul who does no harm is ultimately very foolish. there can't be progression without first taking steps. and we all know that the walk through life involves falling down a bit and getting your knees dirty in the end.


because honestly, if at the end of the day you aren't a bit weathered by the accounts and actions from the prior day, then you ought to seriously re-examine your life and figure out where the hell you are.


/tangent over.
i love you!

but i guess the variables aren't very limited and you might just have to approach every situation from here on out as though you had no expectations. so much so as to reaffirm your ability to move on and not be too upset with yourself. because even if at times you're like "amy.. WTF?" you'll have to realize that there is no point in getting too angry with yourself and that everyone else is equally as positioned in this world.

lol idk <3

[Shining Star]

Laci,
I love you. You know me so very well. Thanks for your kind words. I really appreciate it. It's just I have all this junk in my heart, mind, and soul from past crap and it's coming out in the present and im trying hard to learn from it and move on, so I don't screw up current relationships.