Shadows of the heart: by: lillith strife

[Zeromancer's Angel]

Roses…
The same familiar shade as your blood…
She, the killer, the angel of death…
Love or murder?
My tear-filled eyes…
My loud, yet silent cries…
A storybook full of lies,
That in the woods…
Cries of ghastly souls…like sighs.
Sorrow…
It’s familiar as depression and hate…
It’s too late…
And that’s fate.
I’m so sick of this pain…
Angry, shallow, insane.
Lost…
In the forest of teardrops…
Wet, but fully alive…
His broken body on the ground,
The blood…
He is still…and no sound.
The wind… in his hair…
His features, so delicate…
His cold dead hands…
And sudden despair.
Good bye my lover.
The only thing here…
Is the cold, clouded wall of the abyss…
No kisses…
Just heartache, such pain in this hurtful state…
His sweet kiss…
Is now bitter…
Life itself is a quitter.
Pain…
It’s a tear in my soul…
It’s why my self –esteem so low…
Pain, to he who is dead…
No more shoulder for my head…
Death…
Love…
Nothing above…
My lover…my Archangel…
Death is the gift…
The death angel’s selfish wish…
She’s the blamable one… not him…
Because his love for me is as bright as the sun.



I hope you like.....

( I also got it copyrighted, so, if you steal it you get sued )

[Symos]

Very deep, like your other work.

[Zeromancer's Angel]

well my teacher said to try something deeper so i did...and if you notice... it doesn't have a lot of verbs...just a little

[GravyTrain]

Very deep, like your other work.

You wouldn't know deep if you drowned in it.

Deep? No. Angsty? Yes. Although, it's not too angsty, so that's always a good thing.

The rhyming is good, but I can't get a feel for the flow of it. The pattern looks to be excessively sporadic.

( I also got it copyrighted, so, if you steal it you get sued )

Presumptuous much?
How much does it cost to get something like that copyrighted?

[Spetsnaz]

Lilith, I.....don't know what to say. I'm speechless! That poem is [censored] awesome! You've got talent . Don't waste it

[Zeromancer's Angel]

thanks...^_^

[Hotaru_Kanzaki]

Wow...that's better than some of the stuff I write...cuz I just write to get feelings out of me and on paper so I can forget about them...I love it!!!!

[Zeromancer's Angel]

oh people are so nice

[GravyTrain]

oh people are so nice

I just love it how you ignore all comments that do not orally pleasure your ego.

[Coin~operated Boy<3]

and i love how you find it your duty to bring people down.

[GravyTrain]

and i love how you find it your duty to bring people down.

I saw something that I thought needed correction with the poem and so I pointed it out.
What good does it do to falsely praise someone? If I'm not mistaken, this is the Talent Area, not the Give Me Some Sympathy Area.

I love how I trounced you in the last argument, so you come here to try some cheap shots that don't require any intelligable backing. Fantastic job.

[Coin~operated Boy<3]

i thought the peom was good. keep writing and you will get even better.

[GravyTrain]

i thought the peom was good. keep writing and you will get even better.

She won't get better if nobody offers any REAL suggestions and just give out blind praise like free candy.

[Coin~operated Boy<3]

i thought it was good. critique it all you want.

[Motoko Chan]

Wow,very deep.Nice job.

[Zeromancer's Angel]

Thanks for the tips

anyways.... thanks for the compliments