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My poem.

Show off your fan fiction, poetry, or links to your fan art.

What do you think?

Good
2
50%
bad
1
25%
Okay
1
25%
 
Total votes: 4

MoonlightRose Kurama
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Posts: 2221
Joined: Jan 08, 2005 12:32pm
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My poem.

Post by MoonlightRose Kurama »

Okay this one is one that I just wrote and please don't take any offence by it or be really mean.

I don't need a man by my side.

I don't need a man by my side
For I am independent
A woman with a lot of pride.
I don't need a man by my side.
I have my rights and I enjoy being free
So don't even bother getting down on one knee
I don't need a man by my side.
A man as a friend is okay
But if a man wants more
Then I tell them to go away
I don't need a man by my side.
So why do you even bother to try
Because these feelings I have inside
Haven't changed even over time.
And so now I say to any man that comes my way
I don't need a man by my side.[/i]
I'm with Dark V!
Things Not To Do At Hogwarts:

Crashing a Ford Anglia into the Whomping willow is not the best entrance to make. Crashing it into Snape's office is.
WAKAI
Visitor

re: My poem.

Post by WAKAI »

:mrgreen:
Last edited by WAKAI on Mar 11, 2005 7:06pm, edited 1 time in total.
MoonlightRose Kurama
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Posts: 2221
Joined: Jan 08, 2005 12:32pm
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Re: re: My poem.

Post by MoonlightRose Kurama »

[quote="wakai"]am sorry its agood poem but on like you

i need a woma
sorry I know is your post but here it goes




To have the love of a woman, is a gift more precious than gold,
Just don’t ever take it for granted, don’t let your love grow cold.


Because, a man isn’t complete without a woman by his side,
To be a friend, companion, lover and trusted confidante, in which he can confide.


A woman is the missing piece to the puzzling life of a man,
So until the void is filled, man will be incomplete and lost without a plan.


ps
you need a man by your side :wink:[/quote]

What do you mean by this?
I'm with Dark V!
Things Not To Do At Hogwarts:

Crashing a Ford Anglia into the Whomping willow is not the best entrance to make. Crashing it into Snape's office is.
WAKAI
Visitor

re: My poem.

Post by WAKAI »

your poem sounded like some thing happen with a men
maybe its just shoot poem or sentimental
idont know.
sorry
ps
i said i need a woman as much as you dont need a man by your side. :oops:
MoonlightRose Kurama
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Posts: 2221
Joined: Jan 08, 2005 12:32pm
Gender: Female
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Re: re: My poem.

Post by MoonlightRose Kurama »

[quote="wakai"]your poem sounded like some thing happen with a men
maybe its just shoot poem or sentimental
idont know.
sorry
ps
i said i need a woman as much as you dont need a man by your side. :oops:[/quote]

Nothing happened with a man.Not that it is any of your business.I just had it pop in my head when a boy that I don't like started to spread around the school that I was his girlfriend.It took me forever to clear that mess up.
I'm with Dark V!
Things Not To Do At Hogwarts:

Crashing a Ford Anglia into the Whomping willow is not the best entrance to make. Crashing it into Snape's office is.
WAKAI
Visitor

re: My poem.

Post by WAKAI »

wow chill

dont get mad now i just wanted to know
[wakai gives a rose and leaves]
WAKAI
Visitor

re: My poem.

Post by WAKAI »

look bottom line is i like that poem
its just nice.
WAKAI
Visitor

re: My poem.

Post by WAKAI »

look dont take me to siriouly i am just 18
my mind still young

ps
i know how you feel same thing happens to me every time.to "often"
sorry to get up in your business it will never happen
dark poetry is my word and i dont break it.

you sound nice :wink: i like feisty
like i say my name is wakai meaning young
sorry.[gives dosen roses and askes for forgiveness in one knee. :oops:
Yami Haga-Ryuzaki
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re: My poem.

Post by Yami Haga-Ryuzaki »

Guys can be trouble if they want to make a serious commitment, but most of the time it's the opposite.
Nice poem Crystal, you did well, but frankly I like guys, more so flirting with guys.
I wish to the starry sky, I pray to the Earth
and swear to a love that will not fade.
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Ender
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re: My poem.

Post by Ender »

Wakai you are one pathetic piece of crap; way to plagiarize. If you can't write a poem, don't be an ass and copy from others. Thats just low and stupid.

http://www.springcreations.com/id455.htm

The poem that you typed is on that site, word for word.
Last edited by Ender on Mar 23, 2005 1:09am, edited 1 time in total.
Happy holidays
Raoul Duke
Absolute Otaku
Posts: 1839
Joined: Jan 22, 2005 1:29am

re: My poem.

Post by Raoul Duke »

WHAT?!!! You stole a poem? :|

Pathetic....I guess that all of your poems posted on this site are also stolen.

Well...I like ur poem CDM. And I agree. You do not need a man by your side. :)
WAKAI
Visitor

re: My poem.

Post by WAKAI »

i dindnt type it I pasted
WAKAI
Visitor

re: My poem.

Post by WAKAI »

i never type poems anout woman i found that one and that was a perfect answer to her i dont need a men by my side.

ps
i only write dark poems not love poems
WAKAI
Visitor

re: My poem.

Post by WAKAI »

i never type poems anout woman i found that one and that was a perfect answer to her i dont need a men by my side.

ps
i only write dark poems not love poems.
I never said i wrote it
MoonlightRose Kurama
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Posts: 2221
Joined: Jan 08, 2005 12:32pm
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Re: re: My poem.

Post by MoonlightRose Kurama »

[quote="wakai"]look dont take me to siriouly i am just 18
my mind still young

ps
i know how you feel same thing happens to me every time.to "often"
sorry to get up in your business it will never happen
dark poetry is my word and i dont break it.

you sound nice :wink: i like feisty
like i say my name is wakai meaning young
sorry.[gives dosen roses and askes for forgiveness in one knee. :oops:[/quote]

*takes roses and forgives.*
I'm with Dark V!
Things Not To Do At Hogwarts:

Crashing a Ford Anglia into the Whomping willow is not the best entrance to make. Crashing it into Snape's office is.
≈ Kªrdis Ω
Visitor

re: My poem.

Post by ≈ Kªrdis Ω »

This poem sends a clear message, BRAVO!

It is a little repetitive, i was hoping that the main phrase would have something at the end to sort of bring it out and make the repetition work, but it was not there. Often when a phrase is repeated, it is embeleshed at the end. refer to "I am a Rock" by Paul Simon for a great example.

Nice points and sence of where you wanted to take it.

Please just add the last line again at the end with something to give it a POW.
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