The Key to My Heart

[DaysGoBy]

Here's another one, this one is nice, but I know the rhythm needs a little work... ><

My heart was broken
When you moved away
My heart was locked
And I had nothing to say

You couldn't stay
And the lock was broken
Without the key
It'd never open

You may have moved
But we keep in touch
I love you still...
It don't amount to much

You were the one
I'd stand beside
You were the one
For whom I'd die

As I sit here
Tears flowing down
I remember you, the boy
That moved out of town

I won't feel
Your lips on mine
And hopefully my feelings
Will pass with time

I had dreamed of you daily
Crying every night
Because I knew I couldn't have you
Try as I might

But you live far away now
That I can't forget
So I must turn to other things
But my mind witll not be set

Yes, I love you
This is true
You didn't know
But now you do

I loved you thn
I love you now
So please come back
To me right now.

[Black Cat]

I like it

[josh]

no.
dont like it.
The whole story is screwed.
How its told is even more screwed

[DaysGoBy]

Could you tell me how to fix it? Or why you didn't like it? Give me some critism, some way to improve my writing, please.

[Pyrokinetic Singer]

I think it was beautiful! ^-^

[DaysGoBy]

Thanks ^^