okay how about this one

[WAKAI]

Fighting to keep fighting
Trying to survive
Inside I feel I'm dying
One memory at a time.

Afraid, alone, despairing
Feeling so out of control
Inside my heart not caring
My heart no longer whole

But now my heart is troubled.
I struggle to survive.
The intensity has doubled.
They want to take my life.

Not just my life, my story...
A help for those in need.
But God will get the glory
His victory I will seek

I feel it's coming soon...
I'm weary in this fight.
Victory I will pursue...
Against them I will fight.

I must resist the need
To take my life forever
The Holy Spirit heed
Can we get through together?

All I need is trust in God
To heal me from within
My faith in God just seems so small...
Can God take away this pain?

figth I got lef

What if I do let go
And give it all to Him?
Will true peace I know?
Will He take it all on Him?

But these hurts, they seem too big
For even God to take away.
Every moment that I live
Within my heart they stay

I hear that He forgives me
I struggle every day
I accept the gift He gave me
as God takes my hurts away

[Baka-Tenshi]

This has to be the best one I've read of yours Wakai. The sins and problems that burden someone, the questioning of our faith in God, if He can help. The affirmation at the end, believing in Him. The best of your poems I've read yet. The flow was great, the constant change from weariness and sorrow and lastly hope, and the ryming was incredible! ^_^

[WAKAI]

thank you
ps
Man fears the darkness, and so he scrapes away at the edges of it with fire

[Captain Corkscrew]

That was awesome, I wish I could rhyme like that in a poem. All i can manage to do is free verse, if I'm lucky they rhyme.

[WAKAI]

heep trying it took me 8 years to know how to.

[Captain Corkscrew]

I'll try! I do rmyhe sometimes, but only but acedent. Hey id you want you read the two poems I put up.

[WAKAI]

yeah sure wat are the names

[WAKAI]

question?
do you have specific titles to right about
I like writing about life and death how about you.

[Captain Corkscrew]

There just in the thread that I made. I only have two up and I've only ever written four. I just depending on the emotion i feel at the time. So I don't really have any titles to right about. I almost never title anything till I'm done.

[WAKAI]

I already died I mean did
me like wat I read
wat is your inspiration.

[Captain Corkscrew]

I never nwe I really had an inspiration. I just let my emotions to the talking and my pen/pencil put it down, I'm just a long for the ride. It's like how i do most things I just let it flow.

[WAKAI]

to improve you must find that special thing
,somebody,etc... that makes you want to write.

ps
dont have to do its just
theory.

[Captain Corkscrew]

I see, I think I might wait till i finish high school to look for that thing. For now I'm just gonna let it flow and see what i get served. It hasn't let me down yet.

[WAKAI]

do as you wish
people take wat life gives
if you cant find that special thing,person,
keep trying you will eventually get the best of life.

PS

good luck writing your poems

[Captain Corkscrew]

You make me repeat myself, Thanks. I'll try to get started today ok. So what is your specail thing?

[WAKAI]

my is death sometimes dead love

I can write happy poems but I find them quite
boring.