12-14-07

[Biki]

12-14-07

My hopes are high for happiness
My fears are high for disaster too
I let your gentle heart caress
My tender words of "I love you"

I sometimes had the secret yearning
Of letting you into my world
Heart was racing, heart was burning
To say that I could be your girl

I sometimes wondered what I would do
If she said she'd hate me for it
Would your love be enough to get me through?
...Her hate? I don't think I could endure it

But she told me it was fine
And that made me smile
Until a thought ran 'cross my mind
That stuck with me for awhile

Maybe she'd been strong for me
But in truth she was in pain
Maybe she smiled to make me happy
And her content was naught but vain

I told myself she'd be okay,
Fulfilling my own selfish desire,
And that she'd find love someday
Then her heart would too catch fire

I think of how my own heart burns
When it's you I'm thinking of
And how my thoughts of dread soon turn
Into thoughts of rising love

I thought of how you once had said
I'd be the one to have your kids
My cheeks had flushed a shade of red
That they never before did

I leave the chances up to fate
That it was mere hours before
I had yearned for another mate
Then you showed up, all that and more

Your words have the power to make me melt
Into a pool of ecstasy
Or inflame the space where a heart once dwelt
Burning all that's within me

Even her heart has been set ablaze
By a new lover for whom it beats
Passion has her caught in a daze
And bids her heartache to retreat

All of our hearts beat as one
We all love, and live to love
Searching for someone, we can call our "one"
That special one we want to love(line subject to change)

[Amray]

^-^

[Hardcore]

Hmm.. Odd.
Very well done, Biki.

[Biki]

thanx amray and pimp, but what's odd?o.o

[Kibsy~]

Nice one Bikz ^___^ Kibz likes

[Amray]

Yeah Weldone Biki Amray Likes Also ^-^
Amray Also Likes Kibsy's Avatar =3 AWWWWWWWWWWW

[Biki]

thanx kibz and thanx again amray.

[Darcava]

I really like the feel of your poem ^_^ You should avoid contractions (she'd) would be better as she would. It will flow off the tounge prettier. Quite nice though.

[Biki]

thanx darcava. i think (tho i dont remember) that she'd may have fit into my syllable count better. i dont remember tho. >.>

[Darcava]

oh I see ! That makes sence. I never do syllable counts. I'll have to read it again taking note of you syllables ^_^ iambic pentameter, right ?

[Biki]

uh....not really. i just write it according to if it sounds right to me or not. if it has too many or too few syllables, i try to get it close enough to the line it rhymes with. the poem cant be a pentameter tho cuz even line 1 has 8 syllables. o.o as a matter of fact, the entire first stanza has more than 5 syllables per line. >.>

[Seras]

I loved it!!!!!! I had my friend read it with me and this it what he says:

Spencer says:
Wow.
Spencer says:
She or he is very good with words
Mel says:
she
Spencer says:
She*

He might have aproved it but MY opnion is worth more. Good job Biki my love!!!!!!!

[Biki]

THANKIEZ SERAS! >3 *huggles lover* glad you liked it. but no1 has ne suggestions for that list line? i dont like it much. i just wanted to post the poem and that line was holding me up. >.>